avalon

If you would have the message of the Gods to direct your life, look for that which repeats, again and again; for this is the message give you by the Gods, the karmic lesson you must learn for this incarnation. It comes again and again until you have made it part of your soul and your enduring spirit.

Marion Zimmer Bradley [Mists of Avalon]

the mists of avalon... what an image.... what a metaphor...

happiness and serenity often seem like avalon to me. they drift into sight, but rarely have i seen them stay. they seem to disappear in the mists of my other emotions, drifting away from where i find myself more often than not.

this isn't to say, that i am unhappy. on the contrary, i am more at peace than i can ever remember being in my life. there have been more frenetically happy times, but none so peaceful and so without drama. but here i am in the middle of all this peace trying so often to inject it with my own drama. i grew up around a lot of drama, and i suppose i am accustomed to having it around.

When the samba takes you
Out of nowhere
And the backgrounds fading
Out of focus
Yes the picture changing
Every moment
And your destination
You don´t know it
Avalon

roxy music avalon

just because i cannot always see or remember my serenity or happiness, does not mean it is not always there. no doubt it is always ther, but perhaps just hidden by the mists and all i need do is close my eyes and remember....

'I am not, I will not be.
I have not, I will not have.
This frightens all children,
And kills fear in the wise.'
Nagarjuna