safe harbor

it was a full and interesting day for me in ptown. lots of activity and lots of lessons in humility and acceptance. it rained much of the day on and off, which i absolutely love sometimes. it causes me to look inward just because of the nature of drizzle.

i met the trash whisperer which was a great pleasure. he is an affirmation that i just might be okay, even though being sober has taken away my security blanket. friendly, smart, and goshdarned funny, i am glad to have moved this acquaintanceship into another level. and a bit relieved, too. i mean, the online-to-human encounters i had before getting clean were laughable most-times. and had pnp not been the prevailing agenda, they would never had lasted. and many times, they didn't last long anyway. that could just be the nature of these things, though.

Being reminded that the community of recovery is much more expansive than my circle of meetings and acquaintances back home is expansive. this is why roundups are compelling, i think. i feel that gay people have some wounds that they carry into adulthood and many of us medicate those wounds wth substances because it helps us feel better. but some of us lose ourselves in that process. overmedicating, i guess. so recovery for lgbt persons en masse sends a message of hope that is long overdue for my tribe. we can be healthy. we can be whole. we can have self-respect. we can be kind and loving to ourselves and each other because we deserve it.

i heard a message from a speaker with 20 years sobriety (10 of which is with al-anon). and it was a message that i needed to hear. " As a child I felt I could count on no one, and I was suspicious of asking others for help." working through this belief may be a message that changes my life.