Friday, February 22, 2008
image credit: keith haring
i went to happy hour after work with some guys from SIN, and had a few laughs. the turnout wasn't as great as i had hoped , but it wasn't too lame, either. then a few of us headed over to see a show. i was floored as the production started, because i realized that at least 3 of the players were old tweaking acquaintances. i was flooded with memories and found it difficult to keep focused on the show. i was having flashbacks and distractions and hearing past conversations.
of course, where tweaking and i were concerned, there weren't too many positive outcomes. most situations involving meth usually led to the same dead end: drama and deceit. either on my part or the part of the other person. that is partially due to the fact that i would consume so much of the drug that i was often quite psychotic. i could easily have transformed reality into a version of scream 4 or dog day afternoon or one of many other parodies or dramas or whodunits.
i just am so damn thankful i don't live like that tweaker i was anymore. really thankful, but at the same time, i wish my current path weren't so murky sometimes, either. i really wouldn't have chosen to see such a big slice of my past like that last night, but there it was.
and yet i'm still here.
here is a very strange memory of mine too. when i was very young, my uncle had this album. (and he's not gay). anyway, i remember listening to this over and over when i was less than 10. i guess addictions do start early.