remind me

photocredit madjanski.pl

as i mentioned, i have begun reading david richo's book and i find so many simple but earth shattering truths in there. i only wish i were at the point in my life that i could easily put all these ideas and concepts directly to work in my life. i am working on it though.

Most people think of love as a feeling," says David Richo, "but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present." In this book, Richo offers a fresh perspective on love and relationships—one that focuses not on finding an ideal mate, but on becoming a more loving and realistic person. Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life:

Attention to the present moment; observing, listening, and noticing all the feelings at play in our relationships.
Acceptance of ourselves and others just as we are.
Appreciation of all our gifts, our limits, our longings, and our poignant human predicament.
Affection shown through holding and touching in respectful ways.
Allowing life and love to be just as they are, with all their ecstasy and ache, without trying to take control.

Love is experienced by each and every one of us, but for most of us five aspects stand out. We feel loved when we receive Attention, Acceptation, Appreciation, and Affection, and when we are Allowed the freedom to live in accordance with our own deepest needs and wishes. Children need these "five A's" to develop self-esteem and a healthy ego. What we need for the building of a self, is also precisely what we need for happiness in our adult love relationships. Intimacy, at its best, means mutual dedication to granting attention, acceptance, apprecation, affection and "allowing".

This is a touching and encouraging synchronicity built into our very being. The five A's are simultaneously the fulfilment of our earliest needs, the requirements of adult intimacy, but also of universal compassion and the essential qualities of mindfulness practice.

We can increase our capacity to give and receive these essential elements of love through mindfulness, an alert witnessing of reality without judgement, attachment, fear, expectation, defensiveness, bias, or control.
David Richo [How to be An Adult in Relationships - The Five Keys to Mindful Loving]

If I am not giving, I am holding on. If I am holding onto something I am not making space to receive. If my plate is full, there is no room for anything else. Practise giving, for as I give then I receive. Giving opens the door to life, giving opens the door to love and allows me to be given to. Dare to give myself over to love. There is nothing I need that love does not give in abundance. If I am not giving love I am wasting the life given to me.

more here

now how do i fit this all into my day to day life?