someone to watch over me

peter staley- an american hero

firstly, i am sad to announce that the international carnival of positivities has posted its final edition today- you can read it here
ron hudson who champions the carnival has done an amazing job and helped to build a bridge among the vastly different corners of the world affected by hiv/aids. the world is definitely in need of a new someone to watch over us with the icp's departure.

Now about sex. Many of needed an overhauling there. But above all, we tried to be sensible on this question. It's so easy to get way off the track. Here we find human opinions running to extremes -- absurd extremes, perhaps. One set of voices cry that sex is a lust of our lower nature, a base necessity of procreation.

Then we have the voices who cry for sex and more sex; who bewail the institution of marriage; who think that most of the troubles of the race are traceable to sex causes. They think we do not have enough of it, or that it isn't the right kind. They see its significance everywhere. One school would allow man no flavor for his fare and the other would have us all on a straight pepper diet. We want to stay out of this controversy. We do not want to be the arbiter of anyone's sex conduct. We all have sex problems. We'd hardly be human if we didn't. What can we do about them?

We reviewed our own conduct over the years past. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, or inconsiderate? Whom had we hurt? Did we unjustifiably arouse jealousy, suspicion or bitterness? Where were we at fault, what should we have done instead? We got this all down on paper and looked at it.

In this way we tried to shape a sane and sound ideal for our future sex life. We subjected each relation to this test -was it selfish or not? We asked God to mold our ideals and help us to live up to them. We remembered always that our sex powers were God-given and therefore good, neither to be used lightly or selfishly nor to be despised and loathed.

Whatever our ideal turns out to be, we must be willing to grow toward it. We must be willing to make amends where we have done harm, provided that we do not bring about still more harm in so doing. In other words, we treat sex as we would any other problem. In meditation, we ask God what we should do about each specific matter. The right answer will come, if we want it.

God alone can judge our sex situation. Counsel with persons is often desirable, but we let God be the final judge. We realize that some people are as fanatical about sex as others are loose. We avoid hysterical thinking or advice.


book of alcoholics anonymous

my sponsor has advised on more than ten occasions that i start to put down on paper, the relationship ideal that works for me. and frankly, i have never quite felt audacious enough to enough to even consider an ideal. more likely, i have held the belief that i was damaged good and didn't really deserve to have a relationship.

but i am changing that belief. i am open to revisiting this concept of ideal. not a fantasy, but a friendship that involves emotional support, companionship, emotional and intellectual growth and laughter. i would very much be interested in meeting someone who would support my human service and recovery interests, re-ignite my love for cooking and dining out, drag me to the theatre, and follow me to exhibits and installations, while respecting my independence and keeping their own.
he's not young and there's no need to be pretty. he's smart, he's funny. he's thoughtful. and he's both trusting and trustworthy. he admires all types of people, is quite spiritual, and enjoys quiet just as much as parties. and he loves my cooking as much as he loves my jokes. and you better believe he loves music.