“My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen”
this reparation that needs to take place with recovery presents some challenges. i know i can weather most of them, but i didn't know how deeply i'd feel them. that's where the fear comes in. having some of these feelings takes me to the brink of something very new. will i survive this? can i be sad, not knowing what follows, and find the sanity to weather it? will the world support me enough as i am without having to change and become more? sometimes i feel weak and unsure and i can't cover it up. am i becoming a target for another perp? or am i just feeling the way every other normal human feels?
well you tube says this was posted 8 months ago, but i only heard it for the first time yesterday. nice lyric justin. and i hope that love is a promise that remains.
3 comments:
Yes, you can weather the sadness....
I think it's helpful to do that therapy exercise where you keep asking yourself to go through your fears of what might happen, one by one, and you realize you would survive all of them.
Bascially, we all walk around fighting off the fear that we are going to be homeless by next month, abandoned by everyone we love, run over by a bus and live as a paraplegic in prison until we are buried in a potter's grave. Am I right?
If you look at your trajectory of the past 4 years, there's really no reason to think that's where you're headed. So chill, Jill.
I really feel the emotion and meaning coming through this post. I feel like it's me talking.
When one realizes he must deal not only with the care and feeding of one's own recovery, with all the demons and potential pitfalls that entails, but also with the presence of detractors -- in whatever form -- life can seem like a nightmare.
I keep reminding myself that severe challenges are the font of extraordinary spiritual growth.
Those of us in recovery "put it all out there" in ways most people would never consider doing. Maybe we have to in order to heal, or maybe we are actually stronger than most non-addicts believe and find transparency easier as a result.
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