sha boom

photo david skrela credit ohlala paris

"What other people think of me is none of my business."

How much of my time have I spent worrying about what other people think of me? Too much is the short answer. Before recovery in Al-Anon, I had no boundaries, no sense of self, and how I felt about myself and my life was largely determined by whether or not you approved. With no internal awareness, other people's likes and dislikes, moods and opinions were the compass I used to direct my emotional life. It was exhausting.

'Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror.' One of the most precious gifts I have been given in Al-Anon is the freedom and encouragement to discover and validate my feelings. And this process began when I was taught to take the focus off of others and to look within for my own truth. At first this was an unfamiliar and uncomfortable process, but it was the only path to the security, confidence and peace I have always craved.

Today I know that my feelings are valid, and I've come to trust and rely on them. I know that other people have their own thoughts and opinions and know they are valid for them as well. But today there is a boundary between the two, and my sense of self is no longer linked to other people's approval. Today I enjoy the freedom and empowerment that comes from having and respecting myself.

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i am audaciously using today's post to give a big nod to feist. man, she really makes me tap my feet, hum along, and smile from inside. this particular vid and song are a couple of years old, but i love it none-the-less. it is still a treat for me to hear and so i share her music with you, and hope that it may be brings as big a grin to your face as it does for me.

i worked a 70-year olds (3 70's actually) birthday party yesterday which was located outdoors at a public park in south denver. i got a really good taste of what my planned outdoor 50th will look like later this summer. it was fun, people ate, the younger ones were active, while the older ones ate and drank as much as they could. casual laughter and mutual respect really did seem to rule the day.

i ran into my former chorale director with her partner there. we actually spent some quality time catching up and she clued me in to an old friend who hasn't had interest in me since i was tweaking. it is really good to know he's thriving. knowing that he's gotten along without me and will continue to do so is a bitter pill to swallow, but it is one that i cannot deny. bottom line is: i am glad he's okay. and it ain't all about me.