brutal

“I love that whole princess mentality, but I also like throwing my hair in a ponytail and just wearing jeans, going on a hike and then eating a big chili-cheeseburger.” Jennifer Love Hewitt

i have been made aware of a family member's alcoholism again recently. he has approached me to find him 20,000 dollars to tide him over because a vendor that he works with has pulled out and he cannot use his existing system to enable transactions. anyway that is the story he gave me. he also mentioned how much he had helped me out as well as my mother and my aunt, and how he wanted me to talk to each of them to assist with the procurement of funds. this is sadly a prime example of addict behavior and manipulation. my heart sank with the conversation. imagine my challenge to call him and say succinctly, i have no money to give you, nor do i intend to solicit any for you. you can speak to the family members yourself if you care to, but i will not be able to help you with that. have you thought about getting a job?

his wife called me saturday to discuss the situation. they are separated and he has been asking her to loan him money as well. she was a friend of bill w.s' for many years until she began drinking again. i discussed al-anon with her because she needs some support. she was going to meetings but not really working any program. but maybe she will begin now. she siad she didn't even get what they were talking about. i mentioned co-dependency but that conversation really fell flat.

how does this post have to do with my hike to lake isabelle? everything. the hike i took yesterday could be used for a metaphor for letting go or "taking a hike". sometimes it may very well be important to taste the flavors of this life, instead of being stuck in them. i cannot solve my loved ones' issues, no more than i can walk through them with them. i can only love them, pray for them, and i must nourish my soul in order to do so.