Picture yourself driving a car, which you have used, abused and neglected and then you have a breakdown. Seeing as you think you already know it all, you try everything to get the car started by yourself, running down the battery, poking in the engine, pushing it and eventually kicking the tires in frustration - becoming ever more frustrated in the process! With the giving up and realizing defeat by admitting to yourself that you can't get it started alone…….. comes the first feeling of relief and the knowledge that a power greater than self could help...
from That Great Mechanic In The Sky
i currently find myself feeling a bit overwhelmed. there is a lot going on, but it seems all i can do is wait. t-e-n is coming along, but we are waiting to finalize the bylaws, appoint a board and apply for a 501c3(which will allow us to write for funding). there is a frustration or two with that process, but i won't go into that here. i think i would choose to do things a bit differently if i had it to do over.
the rebuilt+committee is working on the peer training for poz persons, but we have to wait for the go ahead and have to finalize the details. and we need to recruit more persons to get involved.
i have the next 3 weekends off and i am without funds currently to do anything. but working more shifts isn't appealing to me, either. i am feeling frustrated that i can't seem to manage things better. of course, if i didn't have a mortgage payment and only paid rent, i would have more expendable cash. likewise, if i hadn't lost income earlier this year and stayed afloat with charges, i wouldn't be paying so much interest right now.
the idea of finding new work that pays better is becoming much more realistic. if i spent my days working for better pay, i would not have to supplement that so much, and if i did it would be not just to make expenses, but to have extra.
i asked a friend to help with the invitation and announcement for the holiday gift drive, and he hasn't come through with anything. and it's time to start to gather articles for the next newsletter as i think i want the next one out before xmas.
it just felt good to get some of this out. i don't need resolution now. it will come.
today's sound choice... the resolution by jack's mannequin