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Sunday, February 1, 2009


i am percolating with anxiety about tasks to be done this week. i am not certain that i will have the time to organize everything, let alone complete any of it. they say that a little fear is healthy. if that's the case, my health must not be in question. that doesn't account for my sanity though.

3 part time jobs, 2 service commitments, 2 non profits in the works, a sponsee, a newsletter and a new peer mentoring program starting in march. gurl- i need to focus a bit more.

later this week, michael van essen will be arriving to present 2 workshops. our small organization is hosting and presenting these, and i must say i am anxious. it's very curious how once money gets involved, meaning we are being paid to do these, the enjoyment factor shifts. but honestly, to balance that out, i find more i have a little more personal investment in my work.

there is a need for a refocus here. this journaling has been nourishing, but is currently undirected. i need to let inspiration re-emerge.

i have a lot of tasks ahead. i am hoping to come out the other side with a grin. i am hoping for the best and wish even better for you.

if you are new to recovery, my experience tells me it is possible to change. a 12-step program was the answer for me. i am not religious, but have always been spiritual, and 12 step allows plenty of room for my beliefs. plus it has given me access to a bevy of other people who are on a similar path.

don't give up, just hold on. make the effort to get through the day- clean and sober.

love ya.. i'm livin' the dream. maybe i'll see you on fb.

sound choice is "bounce" by timbaland and it is the final dance sequence from "step up 2 the streets". for better viewing hit full screen on youtube..



Brian said...

God, I feel so much like you these days. I'm trying to narrow my focus. But even my commitments do not add up to yours1

I've created a new design for my blog.It took a lot of work. But now i have a place to have some featured writers.

Can I add one more thing to your task and ask if you'd be interested. Something light, maybe a little humorous, or whatever.

If you are loaded down, that's fine. I'm also in no rush, I just set it up over the last couple of days.

I plan on developing another website focused on the lighter side of living with HIV, with a lot of stuff that I would mention as of yet, at least publicly. There could be a way to team up.


Java said...

I'm thinking of you as you prepare to go into the battle this week. It's a good thing. Difficult, but good. A lot better than many alternatives.

I have some similar battles of my own. I suspect most of us do.

Anonymous said...

Count me in on the battles department! Good luck, this week!

Northwest said...

Just take a moment to consider glorious it is to be so thoroughly occupied in your life's work, Rod. You are percolating with meaningful activity, purposeful activity... and yeah, some stress along with it. It is very affirming to see someone make such productive use of one's experiences and insights gained from them, as you have.

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