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Thursday, June 25, 2009

on dreams



i attended a baby shower yesterday at lunch at my workplace. it was for a co-worker and his wife celebrating the adoption of a 6 month old boy. it was festive and jovial and at least 3 departments participated. most of the attention was focused on the new whippersnapper, but a good portion of the joy was for the parents. for most of the celebrants had watched and supported as a 3 year drama had unfolded.

he and his wife had a child about 3 years ago. tragically, the infant died shortly after his birth. there was at least a year of grief and processing that happened. after a while they attempted to get have another child, but a year and a half yielded no fertility, which brought along another layer of grief and processing. not to be dissuaded, they started looking to adoption as they really wanted to grow their family. after several months an opportunity appeared and all looked promising. but the day before they were to take custody of a child in question, social serivices called to inform them that the birth grandfather had decided to take the child. naturally, another layer of disappointment, grief, and processing ensued. they kept re-opening the original wound one might say.

after another few months, they heard from social services again. there was another option. friends, family, and co-workers counseled them to not become too excited. much easier said than done, no doubt. the time grew nearer and once again social services called to halt the process with the news that the foster mother decided to keep the baby.

however, this time, armed with some experience and some emotional armour to protect themselves, calls and concerns were made to supervisors about the modality used in its adoption process. the agency has been asking this couple to put their lives on hold and then don't seem to be on top of the status of the procedure. would it not make sense to check these peripheral status issues before contacting the adoptive parents? meetings with supervisors, and a management team brought about a meeting between the foster mother and our adoptive parents.

somehow, an agreement has been made. our couple took custody of the tyke last friday and have been slowly folding in this new soul into their family mix. as of last wednesday, their lives took a turn that no doubt will change them all forever.


this was the underlying sentiment and celebration at yesterdays pizzafest. everyone was thrilled for the little guy to be part of our makeshift work family. but moreso, everyone was ecstatic that the winds had shifted on our couples journey. it warmed our hearts to see that miracles do happen in front of us. and reminded us that keeping a place at the table for hope makes good sense and has rewards.

today's sound choice is a bit of the inimitable patti lupone with "i dreamed a dream"

2 comments:

Java said...

I have been in that situation, being an adoptive parent. Being told that we would be receiving a baby, then the whole thing falling through at the last minute, it's heart breaking. My best wishes for a wonderful parenting experience for this couple and their new little one.

Sheria said...

Much joy to your co-workers. I spent some time today with my great nephew, age six months, and he is a delight.

I adore Patti LuPone and I love this song. Thank you for sharing it.

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