struggle

Diagnosis is not the end, but the beginning of practice.
Martin H. Fischer

a good friend has been talking to me about his recent diagnosis of esophageal cancer. he is frightened, naturally, and struggles with his resulting anger. he is angry at his doctors, he is angry at his workplace(although this has been going on for awhile) and he is angry with his 77 year old mother because she isn't doing things in the way he wants them done.

my natural reaction to this armor he is projecting is to try to fix the situation so that i will feel comfortable talking with him. i struggle with conflict and when folks are angry i want to deflate it- which can be useful i believe.

but in this case, i believe he needs his anger right now. he needs to process a bit and feel as if he has some power and some say in what's going on. it is a natural reaction to a diagnosis such as cancer, because one could so easily feel overpowered and helpless.

i trust that in time, he will come around and put his ineffective armor down, and let the sunlight of spirit drift back into his life. at least that is my hope for him. i guess that is my hope for me, too.

today's sound choice is manchester orchestra with "i've got friends"