birds eye view

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Friday, March 19, 2010

too late?

he is 29, very handsome, and very much a party boy. he is sitting down by himself and waiting. when i walked up to him and asked him how he is doing, he directly said he is tired and sick of waiting around. he felt like he had been there a long time and was done. but i knew he is trying to hide the fact that he is crying. only minutes ago he had just had his emotional "protective door" busted in.

she told him he is dying. that if he didn't get down from the fence he had perched on for too long,  he is going to miss his opportunity. he had been spending so much time partying and in denial, thinking about everything else but his health, that this very body was taking the heat now. he has a serious case of thrush that has been going on for some time, he has also contracted cmv and it is causing a loss of vision in his left eye. but maybe the worst of all is the huge kaposi's lesion on his scalp. open, tender, and the color of dried blood. and who knows what else is bubbling under the surface.

 i cried while i drove away today, remembering that my own story could have taken the same turn. by the grace of something, it did not. but it's not something one can just let ride forever. there are consequences. it's not necessarily a joke, nor is it always safe. even if you are under 30. if you're hiv positive, it only makes sense to establish a relationship with a doctor. make the time and make a friend. you're life may just depend on it.

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1 comment:

Unknown said...

You do what you can but some battles are lost before they are ever begun. How sad but how human.

On a much lighter note, I like the changed laook, especially the tulips.

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