photo image credit. vh1 blog
somehow i became enthralled with celebrity rehab this season. i have watched an episode here or there, and last season i watched a few. but this year, there have been some moments of this rehab journey that these infamous people and this somewhat famous doctor travelled. sean young (of blade runner fame), michael lohan (yes, lindsay's father), bai ling, and some others- but most illuminated for me is amy fisher(long island lolita).
i'm not sure just what it is that hooked me about this season, but i do remember several moments. i remember amy getting pissed at the cameras following her and being reminded of the paparazzi that chased her in her teens. i remember the group going to a horse ranch and being asked to groom a horse's hoof. sean was thrown from a horse on a movie set, breaking her collarbone and losing a job. it was more than powerful, it was also poetic. there was bai ling having a manic episode and hiding on the roof of the rehab building. she was almost as crazy as some the tweakers i have known- and she was frightened of taking pharmaceuticals to combat her bi-polar disorder, feeling much more comfortable drinking herself into oblivion than trying something new. michael lohan and his phone were perhaps the saddest relationship that got featured on the show he was arguing with the people he loved through his phone for a good portion of the series and missed a very large portion of the treatment as he was high from the chemical releases in his brain from the exaggerated anger that swirled around him.
i don't know at all why i liked this season more than others. i relate to bullshit that they trudge through and i relate to the fear of change that leads the pack in most cases. it's hard to imagine life without a net. and many of us can i relate to only have one real net that will catch us. even if we fall, this particular net will numb the pain. but the damage that living while fucked-up does is not a new story, nor the one that holds my interest any more.
no the elegant story is that change does actually that. it changes things. it rehabilitates life. it unblocks the blocked. it hurts a lot and then feels good. and this celebrity business that envelops the subjects of each season falls a little as one by one experience some sort of therapeutic moment and realize that changing may be (not for certain) but may be smarter than remaining the same.
i understand very well how seeped in ancient drama a person can become. and i think that listening to many of these individuals (as well as many others i know) underscores how easy it is to remain stuck in the past. and changing, really changing, requires letting go of some things.
“One day at a time--this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live inthe present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering.”