find my way back home

"You dont love someone because they're perfect, you love them in spite of the fact that they're not"
— Jodi Picoult (My Sister's Keeper)

went to see "my sister's keeper" last evening. emotionally it was like a luxury weekend getaway-maybe a stay at a ritz carlton. it was rich with on-pointe performances from the main characters to the peripheral.

in case you haven't heard, this film (from the book by jody picoult) is the story of an american family with a daughter who has leukemia. in order to keep her healthy, they decide to genetically sire a sibling who will become a genetic match for blood donations, bone marrow and kidney transplants, and any other miscellaneous procedures requiring a donor match.

sounds like a perfect solution to an agonizing situation doesn't it? especially for the mother who won't take "no" for an answer when it comes to saving her daughter. but as this american family tale unfolds, it is revealed that the devil is definitely in the details when you are up against mother nature. this younger test tube sister does more than act like a deep freeze for her older sister's failing ecosystem.

the scenario certainly sounds like science fiction, and perhaps at one time it definitely was, however this is a modern reality. but the very tug of whether bioengineering a sibling/child is moral or humane or not is compelling, particularly when it is woven into a tapestry with the jewel tones of this film.

i'll stop with the description of the storyline here, because i think most will want to see the unfolding themselves. but my recurring thoughts were just how much water had already flowed under the bridge before i got there. and a good portion of the storytelling involves reliving some of those past moments herringboned into the present.

the performances are quietly surprising. cameron diaz and jason patric breathe life into the spirit of the parents that created the genetikid and provide the foundation for this house of stories. sofia vasilieva and abigail breslin play the two sisters and their relationship creates the actual bridge under which this family's story flows. not to be missed is alec baldwin as the attorney that the younger sibling hires to free her from the organ factory role she has inhabited most of her life. and joan cusack is the judge who brings a touch of personal baggage to the courtroom she presides over.

truthfully, i teared through most of the film. the frustration and tenacity of almost all the characters is something i encounter every single day in my work. usually, though, i will tear up once or twice in the entirity of a movie. nick cassavetes (director of "the notebook") has created an ambiance that lends itself to emotion. stellar job... stellar.

speaking of stellar, the youthful soundtrack left me wanting for more. today's sound choice is from that collection. here is priscilla ahn with "find my way back home"

the gay nineties

We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.

san francisco 1996 or so. meth had not entered my life. but drinking heavily was no stranger. i lived in denver, but flew to the city once in awhile to hang out with some friends that made underground films. i ended up being in two. this one came about because louanne swore i looked like a 50's film star a la robert mitchum. imagine my surprise when i came across my performances on youtube.

these friends now live on the big island and i'm certain are still making films. they were pretty much finished with me as a direct result of my meth use. i don't blame them one iota. they are eccentric, midwestern, and creative. you can see bits of them whenever you wish on youtube. they call themselves "the illinore show". i think my favorites are "gold questions" and "wayne". they are ron and louanne. i met them in 1984 in chicago. they were part of a performance art ensemble called "the family plan". they were odd and used to do performances in the strangest of places in the strangest of ways. they had an open house at a gallery once where they baked bread in the shape of letters to spell a greeting and covered the floor with cabbages and onions. it was so avant.

my most striking memory is a collaboration they did at the dance hall the 2nd year we were open with several students from the art institute of chicago. It was named "blood beat digest". there were frankenstein like electrical machines set up in one room. there were deranged and creepy performances going on throughout the night. but the most vivid was in the bathroom up on the 3rd floor which was usually locked, there was a bathtub. louanne was in the tub which was filled with red liquid. her mouth was gagged and her hands and feet were bound and she was writhing to stay afloat in the tub of pseudo bloody water. playing in the background was a tape of a deep deep voice ( almost barry white-ish) repeating " you like it like this don't you bitch. you like this. you like this".

i still get creeped by the whole thing. that is one of the many reasons i absolutely love performance to this day. but this effort is not so daring. this particular effort also gave me the chance to understand that i'm no actor.