yesterday i got a call from someone in my past which was a complete surprise. he had left a message that he wanted to invite me to his graduation as he went back to get his degree. i haven't seen him in awhile. i last saw him at an all-day symposium called "Deconstructing Meth". He had been tweaking that day, according to him. i didn't catch on to that. i just thought he had become strange(r).
it was good to hear his voice, though. and i'm very glad to know he's doing okay. and i told him i would love to go to his graduation. i mean, someone is making strides towards something good in their lives, i believe in supporting them. just as i really need to be supported in my efforts. and i believe that just because things don't work between myself and someone else according to my plans, doesn't mean that i can't be a supportive and loyal friend. i haven't always felt this way. but i try to live this way now.
he saved my psychological and emotional ass awhile back. he was expressing an interest in me, when i was first getting clean. my opinion of myself wasn't very high.i didn't believe that i was lovable or worth caring about. nor did i feel that i would ever have any feelings again, let alone any sort of relationship. he helped me to see that my view was not the only perspective. and though my feelings may be accurate for me, that didn't mean that was accurate for the rest of the world, too. and for this i am forever grateful.
i guess i stll care for him. can't define how really. maybe i'll just believe that things will work out. that's a luxury i can afford today. having faith. having trust.
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