Interview

My interview by "Noelle" (who has an unbelievable understanding of sensory description)

Ok, here's your five questions and instructions to post with your answers.
Instructions First:
1. Leave me a comment saying "Interview me."
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the
questions.
3. You will update your blog with a post containing your answers to the
questions. And a link to my profile or blog as your interviewer.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone
else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five
questions.

Now Questions:

1. Now I suppose most people have the decency to start off light and work into the heavy stuff. My philosophy is a little different. You do a lot of incredible work for not only the gay community, but in my eyes for the community of mankind as a whole. You seem so giving with your time and effort helping recovering addicts. The empathy and patience I see reflected in your writing blows me away. So I have to ask, are there times when the patience runs out? Is your empathy infinite? Are there some people you think are lost causes? Essentially, where do you draw the line between understanding and frustration?

I know there are times when patience runs out. There are times when I am frustrated. I try my best not to stay in those times though. Those are the times that got me involved in my own drug abuse in the first place. The less I see myself as separate from others, the more engaged with them I can stay. We really are not that different from each other. The Course In Miracles teaches me that my ego tries to divide me from my brothers and sisters, but we really are the same. If I can get to that place of understanding, especially when my patience is wearing thin, I have a chance of finding peace. The line between understanding and frustration for me lies in perception. And perception is something I can learn to work with.

2. As a recovering addict yourself, does that make it easier to relate to others if they have a lapse, or does the fact that you've been able to establish some stability cause you to have higher expectations?

I think yes to both those scenarios is true really. I have had blessings in my life around recovery and letting go of the torturous thoughts I had around being an addict and so I try to hold that possibility in my heart as a goal and a complete possibility for everyone I meet. That is called hope, I think. And that is what I try to bring to the table.

I can easily get sidetracked with a person if they relapse, but I don't see the point in giving up. I always tell the people I work with that learning to not get high is like learning a new skill all over again. Much like a child learns to tie their shoes. Few people get it on the first try, but we don't get frustrated and walk away. We know that tying our shoes keeps our shoes on our feet, and we have faith that the learner will get there.

3. Your user name, warrior scout, would seem to give a hint on how to answer this question, but why speculate when I can just ask. How do you picture yourself? As a crusader? An activist?

So, I am going to give you a really honest answer here, even thought it probably doesn't put me in a very good light. When I was a tweaker, I used to scout the internet looking for hook-ups and parties. I even used scout in my username( I really love that term for online tweakers btw- username, cuz that's completely what I was, a user in every sense of the word.) Anyway, I thought it would be could to take that same name and change its meaning for me. And warrior came about because I struggled in my hometown with finding appropriate services and struggled with finding peers. So I have been blessed with the opportunities to make those things more visible for anyone that has a similar path.

4. If you could rewind to the moment that you decided to start using meth, would you erase your past and start fresh?

Well, I do miss San Francisco achingly sometimes. But I know absence makes the heart grow fonder. My life, or better yet, my feelings about myself have changed so very drastically, that I can't really consider going back. Meth brought me to a place in which I had to take my mental health seriously, and look at my life, my family, and myself in a whole new way. This is the miracle of recovery for me. I don't have to feel the feelings I held about myself for most of my life anymore. I have been granted a reprieve. It's easy to be diligent and work hard when one has been given a new lease on life.


5. What is the most important message you would want readers to take with them from your blog?

Wow! I know my intention is to let anyone know that recovery does happen. That there is hope. If you have felt (or feel) about yourself, the way that I did for so many years, that it is completely possible for your life to change. And that they are not alone. That there are others on that path, or a very similar one, and are honestly open and willing to help. Hope can be so powerful. Especially when we lose sight of it.

And I also want to "normalize" the idea recovery. I think that someone who is seeking to improve their lives is on a powerful and important journey in this life. It needs to be supported and sustained by others.

Thank you for the great opportunity to interview you. I am your humble fan and admirer.
Noelle

If you would like an interview, just leave me a comment saying "Interview Me"