days like this

i just got in from my 3m jog. i do this 3x week and i really enjoy it. i get to push my limits a bit, i get to listen to my mp3 and hear new music, uninterrupted. i get to watch the daylight seep over the horizon into the night. some days it's remarkable and breathtaking. every day is a blessing.

three years clean. it's only been three years since i've made a change in my life. only three years, but it seems so much longer. i have changed not only my drinking and drugging habits, but i've changed many of my perspectives and approaches to life. and i must say i am much happier. three years clean.

my life has taken a direction i never expected and it's not over by a long shot. i have a much clearer idea of what my boundaries are, i have a better sense of what expectations i have, and i trust myself so much more than i ever did. i never used to think that i deserved to have anything semi-permanent and i believed i wasn't worthy of love. i cannot say that these feelings are completely gone, but i know for sure that they are not prevalent in my world.

of course, i haven't changed the course of the world, but i have been witness to the change of the course of my life. that is a very powerful thing to breathe in. i know that it is possible for the sunlight of spirit to enter one's heart. i cannot prove that it stays there forever, but as it lingers, life becomes beautiful. worthy of celebration and steeped with redemption.

there are some incredibly special people who have come into my life in these last 3 years. i will probably see most of them over the next coupla days. then there are the people whom i have only exchanged comments and emails with that i haven't actually met. they have been more than an inspiration to me.

here's a big thanx and a smooch to my online homo group, each of whom have helped me immensely whether they know it or not.

firehorse
marc
acidreflux
recovery beach
wayward son
gaybipolarguy
chris

and a couple of bloggers who inspire me but aren't necessarily in the above group. i love stopping by your roost and checking in.

steve
nicole
richard
ron


so now, bring on the cake and sing..... oh- and who needs candles to blow? (unless they look the ones in the photo....) i love finding new meaning for music such as this song. it used to be a real favorite of mine saturday, or sunday, or monday mornings at the endup in sf. i am happy to say, i don't wish those days were still here, but i'm not sorry they happened. today i have hope that this day (and days like this), hold surprises and wonders. great things happen on days like this.