the gay nineties

We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.

san francisco 1996 or so. meth had not entered my life. but drinking heavily was no stranger. i lived in denver, but flew to the city once in awhile to hang out with some friends that made underground films. i ended up being in two. this one came about because louanne swore i looked like a 50's film star a la robert mitchum. imagine my surprise when i came across my performances on youtube.

these friends now live on the big island and i'm certain are still making films. they were pretty much finished with me as a direct result of my meth use. i don't blame them one iota. they are eccentric, midwestern, and creative. you can see bits of them whenever you wish on youtube. they call themselves "the illinore show". i think my favorites are "gold questions" and "wayne". they are ron and louanne. i met them in 1984 in chicago. they were part of a performance art ensemble called "the family plan". they were odd and used to do performances in the strangest of places in the strangest of ways. they had an open house at a gallery once where they baked bread in the shape of letters to spell a greeting and covered the floor with cabbages and onions. it was so avant.

my most striking memory is a collaboration they did at the dance hall the 2nd year we were open with several students from the art institute of chicago. It was named "blood beat digest". there were frankenstein like electrical machines set up in one room. there were deranged and creepy performances going on throughout the night. but the most vivid was in the bathroom up on the 3rd floor which was usually locked, there was a bathtub. louanne was in the tub which was filled with red liquid. her mouth was gagged and her hands and feet were bound and she was writhing to stay afloat in the tub of pseudo bloody water. playing in the background was a tape of a deep deep voice ( almost barry white-ish) repeating " you like it like this don't you bitch. you like this. you like this".

i still get creeped by the whole thing. that is one of the many reasons i absolutely love performance to this day. but this effort is not so daring. this particular effort also gave me the chance to understand that i'm no actor.