image credit: exterface
i grew up in a small town in central illinois, and i got called this name by a few boys that were a couple of years older than me. i would say there was some reason to call me that, but i would also say that i was in 5th, 6th and 7th grades, so i was hardly able to take adult responsibility for my actions. that name damaged me for quite a few years. i believe it helped to catapult me into a life of denial and self hatred that i struggled with both externally and internally for years.
i don't get called that name anymore. i don't really get called a boy of any kind anymore. but, i'm sure there are young boys and men experiencing the same torment i endured. probably not quite as openly as i did in the late 60's and early 70's.
well maybe yes....
from the denver post 2/19/08
"...for two years, Adrian kept a secret from every adult he knew, even his father: The verbal abuse he says was heaped on him from other students. Bullies called him 'Nazi,' because he is from Germany, and 'gay,' because he is a musical-theater prodigy who stars in professional plays. And despite what Cherry Creek Schools calls a proactive effort to curb bullying, including classroom discussions, plenty of kids knew Adrian was a target and nearly a dozen watched him get beaten up at a school-bus stop in November. Adrian had bruises and a broken collarbone. 'They didn't lift a finger to help him,' Heinz Ulm said of his 14-year- old son. 'I can't understand that.' His attacker won't face criminal charges, because Adrian voluntarily took part in the fight, the Ulms were told. But a 2-year-old amendment to Colorado's hate-crime laws could make Adrian's assailant the first youth in Colorado to be sued for punitive damages on the basis of school bullying. 'I would definitely describe this as a hate crime,' said Adrian's lawyer, Gregg McReynolds, who has not made a decision about a suit."
2 comments:
Any sort of negative nickname tends to stick with one past childhood. That blurb is very sad. I was fortunate not to be called a consistent name of any sort. But I was called, "Sally, with a pink back" a few times. To this day, I'm not sure what that means.
This is very sad. And I'm afraid it is very common, which hurts even more. Is there any way to effectively stop this kind of bullying? I know there are a lot of "programs" in many of the schools to try to address the situation, but so far I haven't known any of them to work. As a school bus driver I can tell you that what goes on between the kids on a bus can be really ugly. A lot of people don't think it through, but a bus driver can't really do much to address it. Some are more effective than others, but think about the challenges of driving. Just keeping the bus on the road and out of physical contact with other idiot motorists (of which there are an inordinate number) takes a lot of effort. With a bus load of noisy, rowdy kids behind you it makes it all the more difficult. You get the picture. To be counselor and case worker and mentor and judge and moderator and confessor and mediator and nurse and janitor and ... AND DRIVER. It's a stressful position. And a lot gets past a bus driver in terms of the way kids treat each other. If I've got 30 kids on the bus there will probably be 15 conversations going on, more or less. It's a long bus. I have no idea what the kids in the back are saying to each other. And I have little or no control over what happens at the bus stop or in the neighborhood before I get there or after I drop them off and leave.
OK, time to step off my soap box and get on the bus.
Oh, and anythingbutsad- "Sally, with a pink back????" WTF?
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