the boys of summer

Homme nu courant sur la plage
by eramus2

so the fun today is to simultaneously play the video and the tune as you read the third verse of "the boys of summer" by dylan thomas. it's contrived, but i think it's fun too. the vid can be played twice 'cuz the song lasts longer. it helps me in remembering that summer is just around the corner. that's when fun in the sun takes on a new meaning. and a very big "hats off" to gay telaviv for the video.

I see the boys of summer
by Dylan Thomas

I see you boys of summer in your ruin.
Man in his maggot's barren.
And boys are full and foreign in the pouch.
I am the man your father was.
We are the sons of flint and pitch.
O see the poles are kissing as they cross.

more dylan thomas here

all of my heart

i have not so many words today. i'll take the easy way today.

blowboy

image credit: exterface

i grew up in a small town in central illinois, and i got called this name by a few boys that were a couple of years older than me. i would say there was some reason to call me that, but i would also say that i was in 5th, 6th and 7th grades, so i was hardly able to take adult responsibility for my actions. that name damaged me for quite a few years. i believe it helped to catapult me into a life of denial and self hatred that i struggled with both externally and internally for years.

i don't get called that name anymore. i don't really get called a boy of any kind anymore. but, i'm sure there are young boys and men experiencing the same torment i endured. probably not quite as openly as i did in the late 60's and early 70's.

well maybe yes....

from the denver post 2/19/08

"...for two years, Adrian kept a secret from every adult he knew, even his father: The verbal abuse he says was heaped on him from other students. Bullies called him 'Nazi,' because he is from Germany, and 'gay,' because he is a musical-theater prodigy who stars in professional plays. And despite what Cherry Creek Schools calls a proactive effort to curb bullying, including classroom discussions, plenty of kids knew Adrian was a target and nearly a dozen watched him get beaten up at a school-bus stop in November. Adrian had bruises and a broken collarbone. 'They didn't lift a finger to help him,' Heinz Ulm said of his 14-year- old son. 'I can't understand that.' His attacker won't face criminal charges, because Adrian voluntarily took part in the fight, the Ulms were told. But a 2-year-old amendment to Colorado's hate-crime laws could make Adrian's assailant the first youth in Colorado to be sued for punitive damages on the basis of school bullying. 'I would definitely describe this as a hate crime,' said Adrian's lawyer, Gregg McReynolds, who has not made a decision about a suit."

Weakness_in_me
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everyday people

image credit: james houston

strength in numbers is a social network i participate in that has boldly taken on the task of publishing a newsletter in colorado. its focus is twofold, i believe. there's the social component which is really crucial and interesting. i have always felt somewhat isolated here in denver because of the complexion of the gay community. there is no "center" or "midway" or "ghetto" here really. perhaps there was at one time, but that really is a part of yesteryear. the community is not centralized and very polarized. and i think it's very conservative as well.

so hiv doesn't really get discussed openly. i don't have too much trouble bringing it up, but i don't think it's really considered appropriate to discuss. so for some poz guys in the community this "appropriateness" can be stifling and harsh. and then there's the dating pool. if it's not appropriate how do we disclose safely? how do we date with dignity? what if i want to pursue a relationship with a poz person. how do we meet? on a sexline? .....anyway....

this hushed tone carries over into our local "rainbow" press. poz is mentioned with reference to fundraisers. but poz is not really included in the local rainbow dynamic- at least not visibly.

how do we ask questions? how do we share information? how do we express difficulty or challenges? this newsletter hopefully can address this issue as well.

here is my letter which is following one by Strength In Numbers founder Bryan Levinson:

December 14 2007
The Start of Denver’s UB2

Welcome to the first edition of the Strength In Numbers newsletter. This has been so much fun connecting with other men and putting this together. It certainly is not perfect, but hopefully it will get better over time with your help and input. Individually we all have a fairly good working knowledge of how to take care of ourselves. Imagine how much greater that can be if we put that know-how together. We definitely welcome your feedback and your ideas to help make this periodical a really useful tool for both new positives and for long term warriors.

When Bryan Levinson wrote me a note informing me that he made me the moderator for SIN Colorado, I thought he was crazy. I had so many things going on and I didn’t feel I had any time to devote. But I knew things might be a bit up in the air with Chuck Lane’s passing and so I thought I would temporarily take the responsibility to help out.

Well, it turns out that this has been one of the most fun responsibilities I’ve had in quite awhile. I have met so many great guys who happen to be poz, have had laughs, have had more than my share of coffee, and have rekindled a desire to take better care of my own health and maybe offer some of my insight to other poz guys. And I have learned quite a bit these last few months, especially how good it feels to share what I have lived.


Strength In Numbers is teaming up with the PLWH committee from the Mayor’s Office of HIV Resources, and the Mile High Meth Project to kick-off what will hopefully become a great new tradition in Denver- UB2. There are similar successful regular events in many other cities. It is an opportunity for poz guys to get together and have fun without feeling any sort of stigma. This oddly named event is a direct response to the personal ads that declare "DND FREE UB2". We celebrate the idea that "I’m HIV Poz – UB2".


The first UB2 event will be Sunday January 27 2008 6pm at Lannie’s Clocktower Cabaret. There will be no cover charge, but there will be a cash bar. Bryan Levinson, SIN founder, will be a guest speaker and there to meet members. Lannie Garrett will be there to sing a little, and we hope that entertainment, fun, and laughter will prevail.


We definitely are planning on a standing room only event. That would mean 150 poz guys. If you are HIV positive, you are invited. And bring a poz friend, too. Oh, and plan on talking with at least 5 new people. We believe there is indeed strength in numbers. I’ve been poz for 22 years and presume to be for many more years to come…. I hope UB2

Rod Rushing
Strength In Numbers Colorado
Rebuilt + Committee

Arrested Development - People Everyday
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