let it be

now most of the crazy drama of the last six weeks should be over. thank goodness is what i want to say mostly. it feels like i have just taken a really big shit. it also feels like i have been in a twilight zone episode. i hope i can write about it someday and do it justice. it remains unsettling to walk away from crazy without feeling crazy. i'm not sure how that all works.

i am going to a SIN brunch today. (YEAH!)- i find i look forward to these now. then i am going bowling with my friends to celebrate their youngest son's fifth birthday. cake and presents always make me smile- even when they are not for me. and rmru is hosting bingo tonite. the fundraising chair has asked me to call the bingo for at least 1/2 hour. i could use a few laughs.

and here is what i'm working on in my quiet time:

Whether we come through the doors of Alcoholics Anonymous or Al-Anon Family Groups chances are we bring a lifetime of "stinking thinking" with us. Frankly, it takes awhile for the "fog" to begin to lift, so that we begin to see ourselves and the world around us more clearly.
If we have sincerely completed the first three steps and have truly made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him, then it is time to put that principle into action. We must find the courage to take a fearless look at ourselves and become willing clean up the garbage we find.

In order to proceed, we must identify the problems and get a clear picture of how our behavior effected ourselves and others around us. That picture is not always in focus for newcomers early in recovery, but as we continue to hang around the rooms, listening and learning from others, and keeping an open mind, we find more layers of the "onion" being peeled away. for more read here:

there are times when the truth isn't the only witness or the only player on the stage. i guess my job is to just do my best with what i have and leave as little wreckage behind me as possible. no one person saves the world and it's really crucial to pick one's battles.

PRAYER OF ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI

Lord, make me a channel of thy peace,
that where there is hatred, I may bring love;
that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness;
that where there is discord, I may bring harmony;
that where there is error, I may bring truth;
that where there is doubt, I may bring faith;
that where there is despair, I may bring hope;
that where there are shadows, I may bring light;
that where there is sadness, I may bring joy.
Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort
than to be comforted;
to understand, than to be understood;
to love, than to be loved.
For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.
It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.
It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal Life.

an old song today. but it's reworked here. i think it's moodier, and i like the intensity. and i think there are no finer words for me to utter today than "let it be". have a fantastic sunday.

When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

the rest of the lyrics here: