I have enjoyed greatly the second blooming that comes when you finish the life of the emotions and of personal relations; and suddenly find - at the age of fifty, say - that a whole new life has opened before you, filled with things you can think about, study, or read about...It is as if a fresh sap of ideas and thoughts was rising in you.
there's no way around it. 50 is a milestone. one funny thing for me is to look at where i have been and where i am now. whew! the distance is amazing. i can't say that i regret much, but i can say that i see what serenity looks like. i don't swim in contentment, but i get to bask in it now and again.
at 25, the idea of 50 seemed to scream "it's over" or "the end". i now know that it doesn't say that at all. it may say slow down, but it also says savor or taste. i get to really taste the flavors of life now.
i was laughing today and pretending i was on the phone:
r u there?
are you there?
i can't hear you?
so much did i live my life just like this one-sided conversation. so much did i feel alone. but 50 (oh, AND my recovery) has allowed me the grace to let go of having to hear the other part of that conversation. i am beginning to know that it happens.