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Friday, August 22, 2008

old man



Agatha Christie:
I have enjoyed greatly the second blooming that comes when you finish the life of the emotions and of personal relations; and suddenly find - at the age of fifty, say - that a whole new life has opened before you, filled with things you can think about, study, or read about...It is as if a fresh sap of ideas and thoughts was rising in you.

there's no way around it. 50 is a milestone. one funny thing for me is to look at where i have been and where i am now. whew! the distance is amazing. i can't say that i regret much, but i can say that i see what serenity looks like. i don't swim in contentment, but i get to bask in it now and again.

at 25, the idea of 50 seemed to scream "it's over" or "the end". i now know that it doesn't say that at all. it may say slow down, but it also says savor or taste. i get to really taste the flavors of life now.

i was laughing today and pretending i was on the phone:

hello?

hello?

r u there?

higher power?

are you there?

i can't hear you?

hello?

so much did i live my life just like this one-sided conversation. so much did i feel alone. but 50 (oh, AND my recovery) has allowed me the grace to let go of having to hear the other part of that conversation. i am beginning to know that it happens.

3 comments:

Bearbrick Lover: said...

I remember the saying: age is a case of mind over matter – if you don't mind, then it doesn't matter. Enjoy your birthday! :-)

Marc said...

HAPPY ALMOST BIRTHDAY! My 50th is also on my mind ALOT. Particularly that this is more behind you than ahead. That's sobering, to put it mildly.

Java said...

It sounds promising. I'm only 4 years behind you. I have realized for at least 10 years that I wouldn't go back any amount of time for any reason. I work very hard to survive and thrive and learn what I do to make it to another day, much less another year. I hope I still feel this way at 50.

Happy Birthday (impending)

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