birds eye view

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Thursday, October 16, 2008

live to tell

All of us have the capacity to attract to ourselves what seems to be missing in our lives. Wayne Dyer

i was introduced to this guy who is a host at an underwhelming restaurant on the outskirts of town. he is 26. he is shy, relatively quiet, well-mannered, and easy on the eyes. i was with a group of people and we were discussing recovery, 12 step issues, our lives in general. he listened carefully and reservedly on the sidelines. he asked to speak to us after an hour or so.

it turns out that he is on probation for quite a long stint because 6 years earlier, when he was out partying with his best friend, they got totally loaded at some parties, and he crashed his car. 20 years old and he had gotten into a major car accident and been burdened with a wound he many never forget. his best friend, the passenger in his car, died at the scene of the accident.

he talks about it frankly now. he had several years in prison before he was released on probation. now he workss on spending his free time speaking to groups of people about his experience. he discusses refusing to be concerned about his drinking and his driving and just doing what he wanted. and he also speaks much more quietly and much more directly about what can happen to a passenger in a vehicle with a drunk driver.

this is the story he is living to tell.

you know, i sometimes really feel as if i am never gonna quite get ahead. i can find as much to struggle with as i can think of( and that's infinite) mostly because i am used to struggle. but, now and again, i am reminded gently in my life, that i have had a pretty good run. that i have had tough times, but honestly need to keep it in perspective. i only suffer in my own head, and not in the world so much.

when i was 26, my best friend departed this plane. but i never have had to wake up knowing that my apathy and self involvement drove him there. i can't imagine how much self deprecating bullshit he has had to wade through to get to the place he seems to inhabit now, but i have an idea.

and my hat goes off to him. he helps me see the actual lightness of being and luck i have been blessed with.


Famous Quotes said...

nice blog indeed

Java said...

Wow. That's a really heavy load to carry. I wish him well on his path to recovery.

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