Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to give something back by becoming more.... Anthony Robbins
on the 2nd day of christmas my true love gave to me..... a 2nd chance at life
i cannot begin to relate the intensity of my feelings about the renewal that recovery and a spiritual program have rushed into my agreement field. i operate at a completely different vibrational rate since i have welcomed a higher power. i don't have to feel the alone-ness i have known. i often choose too, but have the option of remembering that my life doesn't have to look like that and can change.
i am in the middle of writing a grant for support of some programs next year. i have really been avoiding it, because deep down i don't feel i deserve to steward the effort. i am struggling with doing this because i am sure i will not succeed, thus why bother at all. if i procrastinate, then perhaps i won't attempt anything and i will have fulfilled that particular destiny.
this captures how most of my life has been spent- in the previously described defeatist mindset and subsequent behavior. i have never tried to do anything even remotely courageous for fear of failure. i think i have wasted many an opportunity and have stunted most talents that i may actually have. and i think i may have been well on the road to "i could have made something of my life".
my life now highlights a subtle yet pivotal shift in my perception (ergo miracle). i can fail and still be okay. i can seem to lose and survive. i can be laughed at and dismissed, and still become better and stronger. i can work through pain instead of letting it tie me to a hitching post. and i can take off my blinders and see my destructive and dismantling processes that have always led me to a quagmire.
trusting, having faith, taking chances, pausing and letting a higher power move with my decisions and directions has opened a world of opportunities for me that i did not know before.
on the 2nd day of christmas my true love gave to me.....
a 2nd chance at life
and 1 opportunity to be heard.
sound choice for today is groove armada with "my friend"