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Saturday, January 3, 2009

life on life's terms



i got a call from a friend yesterday and was told that one of my favorite catering clients' husband was cross country skiing in aspen on thursday and had a heart attack and died. i was stunned really. i just saw them on dec 6th for a dinner party. i have been working for them periodically since i came back to denver in 2003. they have an incredibly modern and diverse art collection, with her collecting paintings and he leaning more towards sculpture. they have been married for at least 25 years. i cannot imagine her devastation as she has just two weeks prior gone through surgery herself.

i am also saddened and relieved at the same time by another event. today, i learned that another person close to me has stopped taking their psych meds earlier this fall. they had just started seeing a new psychiatrist in early fall, and recently let it slip that the doc has stopped all psych meds and that this person feels great. better than they have felt in a long time.

i am saddened because in addition to feeling better than they have in a long time, i realize that they have been systematically disengaging themselves with everything they have set themselves up with during their first two years of recovery. and they are creating a bit of damage in their wake. i am saddened too, because it was so obvious to me that something has definitely changed over the last couple of months, but they have absolutely no interest in anything i have to say.

i am relieved because i thought that i had seriously done something to become the target of the very angry messaging that has been going on for nearly a month. perhaps i have contributed in some way, i don't know for sure, but at least i understand why there is no room for conversation or discussion or even civility on their part. this explains so much for me.

how can you mend a broken heart? i wish i knew. i would help to heal this person's heart if i could. but i will pray. life on life's terms.

today's sound choice is vintage al green doing "how can you mend a broken heart"

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4 comments:

Tommie said...

I love your honesty my friend. You put it out there and I respect it so.
I missed your call earlier.
I will call you tomorrow

Sleep well
tomm

Sheria said...

I recognize that we have to accept life on life's terms but that doesn't men that we have to like it. I am sorry for your friend's sudden loss. Death is always painful but the sudden death of someone that you love shocks the senses like burning coals applied to the skin.

Your maturity level far exceeds my own.

BTW, I like Michael Buble's (sp?) version of How Can You Mend A Broken Heart, but you promised Al Green!

Happy New Year and may 2009 bring yo an abundance of blessings!

Texaco said...

I'm sorry for your losses. So much of "what I cannot change" is so painful. May you find the serenity you need.

Java said...

My sympathies to your friend on her great loss.

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