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Sunday, January 25, 2009

time to reflect

photo credit: johann bisesti

i woke up this morning with a feeling of optimism. i can't explain to you how i know this, or why this makes any sense, but it is what i seem to be wearing today. i got home late from working a small dinner party last night. the chef i worked with is a friend of bill's, too, and we had a rough patch in the evening when she felt the dinner was not very good and started to beat herself up inside.

you know, i didn't taste the pasta she made, but i did tast the spicy sausage she used, the sun dried tomatoes, and the light creamed parmesan sauce and they all held up. this was accompanied by grilled asparagus drizzled with balsamic. but her brain had already set in motion the beating up process that some of us in recovery like to inflict upon ourselves when things are going right.

but this time, i happened to be present to witness this, and i took on the task of reminding her that the reality was that people were here to see their friends and to celebrate a 65th birthday. and i also pointed out that the everything on the plates was eaten completely in almost every case. it lead to a discussion about how a self-attack like this is commonplace in addicts and what techniques we use to counteract it as it can be highly toxic.

it was good to see her and be with her. i am validated once again in my journey of recovery. i am able to be of service to another and gain new insights into my own behavior. i also got to see and hear several local celebrities, including the former mayor of denver who was responsible for the construction of the denver international airport. and the bonus was the marscopone cheesecake with a killer maple and pecan sauce.

i am off to st. marks to get a vanilla latte and to begin the discussion with my friends jenna and carmella (who work there) about a website for treatment education network. they have a little company called "rocket house". i am excited about the scope of the work ahead with the many projects i have going (bi-polar dreamland) and feeling happy with the work that has been done.

i am including a sample design work that jenna has done for us. i like them very much.

today's sound choice is casta diva by the opera babes. i heard the cd last night at work.


1 comment:

Marc said...

Sometimes I think we ascribe too much to being addicts. Do you really think non-addicts don't beat themselves up a regular basis?

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