“One of the reasons why so few of us ever act, instead of react, is because we are continually stifling our deepest impulses.”.... Henry Miller
today, i watched as man i know shuffled into view and declared how tired he was and needed to change. i believe him. i believe he believes he needs to change. i believe he is tired.he has been wandering for months, hustling for change, and not living in reality. this is not the first reading of this script, nor do i think it will be the last.
i asked where he had been and he retorted with "doing things i shouldn't be doing". cannot even own up to his actions. maybe if he doesn't say its name, he won't have to own it. but that rock has a hold on him that is strong. it is an anesthetic and when i really examine it, i can't do anything but understand the obsession with escapism. some aspects of life are so very dry, real, and hard to look at.
the thing i really know about this situation is that if anyone is in need of change, they have to be ready for it and work for it. it's not like changing a channel on the television. one cannot just press a button and have a whole new program in place. there has to be a conscious effort to move from one thought process to another. one has to be uncomfortable and learn to maneuver in it before a more comfortable reality comes into view.
the co-dependent in me wants to solve another's dilemma. crazy still. i am unable to wade through many of my own night-and-day-mares. yet there i found myself, offering this beautiful lost soul some sound tough love. and i was heard and understood. and then walked away and second guessed myself.
can anyone say prayers?
today's sound choice is an old favorite of mine- the lemonheads... with a cover of "knowing me, knowing you"..... yum yum yum... evan dando..