here

i just came from an appointment with a client. he is 50 yrs old, is homeless and has cognitive disabilities. his general health is failing and has some challenges just taking care of himself. he is gentle in nature and smaller in stature. and he does not need pity. he needs an advocate to help him get linked to the services he needs, and he needs someone to look in on him from time to time to review his life choices. he was talking to me about his decision to quit drinking. because his drinking and his behaviors that follow have gotten him in all sorts of hot water with the law. he has to do 3 ua's a week, he has a p.o. and he has to explain his whereabouts on a regular basis. i am not sure he has realized yet that his drinking influenced his decision making before he got into legal trouble, but i hopefully planted that seed. and i have to ask myself this question: if he never changes his behavior, do i still work to get him engaged in healthcare? if housing is arranged for him, and he loses it because he is unable to follow any plans laid out for him, does that mean we give up?  i know my answer to that question is not the same at different points in my dealings with clients. sometimes a resounding "yes" really feels like the natural response. but i heard someone say that most times our 1st response is not our best response. and that to pause and reflect on the matter is the way to go. i try to abide by that rule. can't always do it, but i try. am i helping you to see you change, or am i helping for the blessing of being able to help? can i see you for who you are, or do i see you as whom i want you to be?