a new toot

morning....

greeting the sun and heralding in a new day. it all seems so ritualistic. and that is what our lives are filled with. rituals. the morning coffee. the morning paper. the train/drive to work. the lunch hour. the commute home. the weekend. the weekend getaway. the sunday paper. mowing the lawn. and on and on.

finding recovery has required me to develop some new rituals for my life. it has not been easy. it doesn't really remain always easy. but it is a necessary change in my daily habits, if i want to find sanity and peace. it would be very easy to just remain substance free, without attempting to grow in a more spiritual direction. at least that's what i tell myself.

but i can't take a chance on that. i know of many, many people who clean themselves up only to dip their toes back in the party waters. and many of them don't just dip, they dive in. that is not an option for me today. i am looking for something different. and i am looking for something more substantial. or grounded. or healthier.

i try to start my day by connecting to the earth, much in the way of heralding the sun. i try to truly express gratitude for the blessings i have and the burdens i have been spared. and i head to the gym to interact with this body of mine in a nod of gratitude as well. i am grateful my body is still humming along.

additionally, i am grateful that i have relationships with people that i have not always been available for. they have managed to see beyond my often-times bad behavior and i have been blessed with the opportunity to make amends. this creates a whole new dimension of relationships in my life. one that's more holistic, and inclusive, and long term. i need these in my life just like i need air to breathe.

come to think of it, i am also very grateful i experienced the 70's, pierced my nose, and i had the opportunity to wear platform shoes, too! of course, and i'm grateful i've moved past those things.