the start of something good

i was sitting in a meeting in ptown on Saturday with members of this fellowship from miami, new york, atlanta, la, chicago, boston, and denver. there was definitely something extremely expansive about this. I guess I just haven’t been to very many meetings which have more of a national flavor to them. i was able to really understand that similarities are more common than i believed. men from all those cities shared that relapse is still very much a part of our stories, and that many men take refuge in other fellowships because of the references to the drug and to the sexual activities as well as the prevalence of relapse being triggers. this is so easy to see now.

it was framed quite nicely at this meeting though. a very pleasant guy from nyc shared that the share-day that happened in nyc over the summer had been quite successful and had expanded the possibilities for our fellowship. and someone else chimed in that we are not failing as a fellowship. we are still fledgling. we are just where the original 12step fellowship was in 1941, trying to find its place and establish its foothold. this is also completely reassuring to me personally. i find it difficult sometimes to see beyond the very few meetings established. especially when it is compared to the number of articles and news stories I see and hear about in the press about the increase in meth use all over the globe.
directly across from me in the room was a mural depicting the mayflower landing in ptown before it’s arrival at Plymouth. and it struck me as fitting somehow, sitting in this room with these men. all travelling to a new place seeking a freedom they hadn’t had where they were, arriving at a new place and trying to make a home for themselves and perhaps for others. trying to make their way in a new land.
so i say, we are pilgrims, we are adventurers, we are travelers, we are explorers.
and we are charting new territory and trying to make a new home. freedom, peace of mind, spiritual growth, and happiness are the rewards we seek. hopefully we will leave a portion of the blueprint necessary for the gay men to follow us in this life. a blueprint for happiness and freedom from self-hatred, internalized homophobia and self-medication.

now did i mention something about gay?.?.....