yesterday was a fairly full day of recovery workshops. some i am really grateful i had the chance to attend. they all helped shrink-wrap my own perspective to fit who i really am.
the spiritual living meeting opened my eyes to some different takes on priorities and this was so welcome. i also noticed that i had really gotten outta my head for a bit and that was what this trip was really all about.
during the working with others workshop someone shared about having boundaries with an addict in active use and telling them "no". this was offered with such naivete and directness that i felt my heart open and i empathized so naturally. i also secretly wished i could do that with people in my life who may or may not be addicts, but are highly active users. damn, i struggle with boundaries so obviously that i must be a target. i will ask for this to change.
last night was the dinner and speaker meeting. the person who shared her story also entertained and sang for 1/2 hour too. and she sang beautifully. and my heart softened when she sang a song titled the same as this post. the buzz was that she is a member of a famous entertainment family, so it makes sense that she indeed was talented.
but her story was like daybreak. she recollected the darkness she had lived in for so many years, and heralded the dawning of reclaiming a life through sobriety. she even cajoled about having difficulty kneeling to pray when she had no trouble snorting a line off some guy's wanker in a club. there's no better way to win over a room full of gay men in recovery than to toss out some sexually charged depravity to signify the depths to which one sinks in addiction.
this conference is feeding my soul. i am having a quietly monumental experience and i really need it right now. marc has been an angel and a godsend. and i am internally starting to believe there is some light at the end of this tunnel i had found myself in.
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