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Monday, December 22, 2008

on the 10th day

on the 10th day of christmas my true love gave to me- a question to answer with yes or no.. and 10 carats of sparkle to keep for the rest of my lifetime..

Will you continue to take personal inventory on a moment by moment basis, and continue to set right any new mistakes AS YOU GO ALONG?

Please answer yes or no.

This 10th day gift has absolutely no connection with day #4. Note, in day #4, it calls for a searching and fearless Moral inventory. This day calls for a personal inventory. This day is our daily check on ourselves. This is our check on the small and large and otherwise details of my life TODAY. My simple way of handling day 10 may help someone, since I find that it is most adequate for me, and I prefer to keep things simple and uncomplicated. At night, after I am in bed, my day is over; I find this is one of my most important prayer times. I think about my day, what have I done, whom I have been with, what has transpired. Sometimes I find that I am not proud of something I have done today, and I owe someone an apology, I do not permit these things to go unattended. I have found that it is not the so-called "big" things which seriously affect the alcoholic in their new life, but the "little" things. They can go on and on and add up and become a real burden and eventually have drastic effects upon our new life. This is the reason for day 10, keep things "cleaned up," keep the walk swept! Maintain a good healthy attitude.

last friday was the gift drive and open house for the h.o.p.e. program that i helped inspire. in case you don't know, h o p e is a day shelter for homeless persons with hiv. it is run by the vna (visiting nurses association) and they do a remarkable job at addressing the human dignity in people when they are not on the top of their game. the program is housed about six blocks from my house and i stop by often. i find that the regular visits right-size me and prepare my heart and mind for the day.

anyway, it was a success. i had really done it as outreach, so that every new employee, case manager, client advocate, nurse, and doctor working in hiv would find out about them and perhaps even refer client. if someone is homeless, then h o p e really can change someone's outlook.

back to friday. about 50 people stopped by. they brought socks, toothbrushes, toiletries, cereal, cordless phones, dvd's, you name it. they schmoozed and gave the program some much needed love. the nurses kept hugging me and thanking me. i kept saying it wasn't me, it was them. people were there because they were doing a phenomenal job. and that's the truth.

they gave me a card which has sequins and snowflakes on it. but they just as well could have been diamonds for me. and the card might have well have been from tiffany's. it is signed by all 3 nurses as well as about 20 clients. they didn't just sign their names. they all wrote a little saying. i cried when i read it. i'm tearing up as i write this. my holiday if fulfilled. anything from here on is a bonus.

i am grateful to be where i am. it's a long way from the mess i was. and i still have a long way to go. have you guessed that my response to today's gift is yes?

on the 10th day of christmas my true love gave to me...
a 10 carat sparkle with a question to answer with yes or no
at least 9 promises
a thoughtful way to engage a toxic cleanup
a 7th day to rest, reflect, and recharge
a 6 foot carriage to safety
a 5 alarm avalanche
a brand new self portrait, a new way to see "me" in 4 dimensions
a decision in 3 parts- i can't, god can, i think i'll let her
a 2nd chance
an opportunity to learn to listen and be heard

today's sound choice is da bomb!!!! mantronix remix of shirley bassey's "diamonds are forever"


1 comment:

Marc said...

This is much better than "The 12 Days of Rehab."

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