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Monday, March 16, 2009

facing east

it's the middle of march and colorado has had very little snow this year. it has been quite warm and spring is peaking its head around what seems like every corner. bulbs have been planted long ago, and nature just takes its course. the crocus i have seen in my neighborhood seem incredibly large, and i purchased these daffodils at whole foods. i spent a good deal of yesterday working around my house feasting on all this yellow and green and taking in their really amazing fragrance.

i notice a much calmer demeanor has moved into my life. something much calmer than i remember before. i don't mind spending time alone, i am not desperate for conversation of any kind to drown out the silence, and i am adjusting to my own thoughts. my sponsee and i have not been connecting for months now. it's no longer funny. it may be time to encourage change in that arena.

at lunch yesterday, someone asked me if i was seeing anyone. i nearly choked, as it seemed such an absurd question. i answered "no, because i haven't left the time zone". this is an old attitude for me. in my younger days, i only played around when i left denver(which was a bi-monthly event). i actually have never really dated anyone in denver, nor even put in on my radar. this frame of mind is probably self-fulfilling. i have always noticed people interested in me almost everywhere but here.

i feel my heart growing up this year. i can sense that changes that have been planted and nourished are taking root and making themselves at home. i smile from my heart spontaneously and i laugh at myself more easily.

today's sound choice is one of my favorite groups- thievery corporation with "facing east"


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