Monday, March 9, 2009
it never ceases to amaze me that i can be so very inept at reading a situation. i always think my gut is correct when i am in the middle of something or someones, but when i leave my thinker starts getting out of whack and i replay scenarios over in my head with quite a different perspective and much doubt and self recrimination.
today, i had the privelige of interviewing for the position which has been discussed between myself and a clinic for the last 6 months. i went prepared for almost anything, but unexpectedly encountered a panel interview with the entire clinic. it was challenging for me to remember to make eye contact with each person when answering the set of questions printed out for my benefit.
and i stumbled when discussing my shortcomings. not that i couldn't find them, but more that i probably touched on an overabundance. and by the end of the 40 minute session, i had no real idea whether i was able to retain the kindly impression they had of me before this formality, or if i had somehow caused them to rethink some of their position.
either way, change is in the air. i have cut back on my schedule at the other workplace to 18 hours and i will need to fill time after the end of this month. as i reflect on this transition, i honestly feel some peace. i intuit that change is at hand, and to fight this would be futile.
trusting the process and having faith that i will find myself in a very comfortable position faces me with my own fear. step 3 is the handy tool for me to utilize. came, came to, came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to santiy. it's just back to basics.
today's sound choice is the overwhelming and almighty david bowie with "changes"