Friday, April 10, 2009
tracks of my tears
thanks b2u for indulging my emotions this week. i am undergoing a culture shock and am doing my best to keep my head above water. but goodness knows i really needed a change and i believe the universe is looking out for me once again. i also find that some of my values may have been slipping back into a more selfish realm, definitely a side effect of fear and insecurity. i hope i am recognizing this in time and can make the necessary adjustments to get back to looking at the world with loving eyes. oh yeah, and a loving heart. i am to be conducting interviews over the next year and making referrals to treatment as well as developing a support mechanism for the clinic i will be working in. i am humbled and thrilled at the opportunity, but feel much more blessed that the team i am working with are already in my corner and have been actively working to bring me on board. in the referrals to treatment arena, the conversation i knew had to happen did just that. it is with reference to an experience that i have worked through, but perhaps not let go. ergo- resentment. and resentments really are poison. i know that the more i hold onto it, the more distorted my perception. honestly, i am working on this. forgiving an abuser has proven not to be a simple thing for me. in turn, however, it sets me up to re-enact that abuse, which is something i very much want no part. but no matter how much i try to cover up and disguise my past hurt, i am pretty sure you can still see the tracks of my tears.
today's sound choice is this season's idol frontrunner- adam lambert with "tracks of my tears"