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Sunday, September 13, 2009

rocky mountain september

it is a whirlwind couple of weeks in my life. i can't begin to say how freeing it feels to be so busy and yet be growing on so many levels. at risk of sounding repetitive, (oops too late!), life continues to expand in ways i never dreamed possible.

i went to grand lake with some of the strength in numbers boys, and we frolicked in the mountains for a few autumn days. there was hiking, walking, bowling, dining, mountain driving, campfiring, and lotsa fun. i am embarrased to say i discovered (and loved) fruit rollups. i met new friends from dc, dallas, taos, as well as denver.

there was a group of college students from a baptist college in kansas who had never met anyone hiv positive before. now they had 15 of us in their midst. a couple of the guys were really afraid i think, but for the most part they allowed their human side to emerge.

there was some drinking going on with many of the guys. i didn't get involved, but i couldn't help but notice. interestingly, a friend who is also in recovery was asking quietly for beers before i arrived. none if this is any of my business. but i do find it noteworthy. in my life, i have come to realize that part of what i hope to do is help people find their way back to sane from some kind of crazy. so i need to be very clear that i am not in judgement about where someone is at or what they imbibe.

i met a man who has recently stopped doing meth. he has about 9 months clean but still drinks. this is something i was never able to do. it is also something i am not interested in doing, either. i have reaffirmed that i am feeling balanced, which took me 46 years to understand, so i am not interested in undoing any of that. after all, it may be a delicate balance.

i have posted the photos from the trip of fb, so i encourage you to take a gander. a smidgeon of the beauty that is the rocky mountains is hinted at. i hope we get to do another of these next year.

i purchased the new lemonheads cd for the drive and i wasn't let down. i simmered in its juices both up and down the mountain.

today's sound choice is "layin up with linda" from the 2009 release "varshons". it gets a big smile on my face every time i hear it. this is a clear example of why i worship music. there are so many facets....


1 comment:

the other cj said...

Ack. Nine months off meth and still drinking, I tried to kill myself. The void that meth left nothing filled until I accepted some help and started trying life in recovery.

Those months were really a sort of living hell, but in a way they were a gift, because they taught me, without a doubt, that in addiction to being a meth addict, I really am an alcoholic. I don't have to fake it in meetings. Would I have rather had nine more months of the life I have now? Sure, but I have lots of wouldas. I'm just happy I'm here now. I'm happy you're here now, too.


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