rocky mountain september

it is a whirlwind couple of weeks in my life. i can't begin to say how freeing it feels to be so busy and yet be growing on so many levels. at risk of sounding repetitive, (oops too late!), life continues to expand in ways i never dreamed possible.

i went to grand lake with some of the strength in numbers boys, and we frolicked in the mountains for a few autumn days. there was hiking, walking, bowling, dining, mountain driving, campfiring, and lotsa fun. i am embarrased to say i discovered (and loved) fruit rollups. i met new friends from dc, dallas, taos, as well as denver.

there was a group of college students from a baptist college in kansas who had never met anyone hiv positive before. now they had 15 of us in their midst. a couple of the guys were really afraid i think, but for the most part they allowed their human side to emerge.

there was some drinking going on with many of the guys. i didn't get involved, but i couldn't help but notice. interestingly, a friend who is also in recovery was asking quietly for beers before i arrived. none if this is any of my business. but i do find it noteworthy. in my life, i have come to realize that part of what i hope to do is help people find their way back to sane from some kind of crazy. so i need to be very clear that i am not in judgement about where someone is at or what they imbibe.

i met a man who has recently stopped doing meth. he has about 9 months clean but still drinks. this is something i was never able to do. it is also something i am not interested in doing, either. i have reaffirmed that i am feeling balanced, which took me 46 years to understand, so i am not interested in undoing any of that. after all, it may be a delicate balance.

i have posted the photos from the trip of fb, so i encourage you to take a gander. a smidgeon of the beauty that is the rocky mountains is hinted at. i hope we get to do another of these next year.

i purchased the new lemonheads cd for the drive and i wasn't let down. i simmered in its juices both up and down the mountain.

today's sound choice is "layin up with linda" from the 2009 release "varshons". it gets a big smile on my face every time i hear it. this is a clear example of why i worship music. there are so many facets....

holding on to my hat

Reasons for the Seasons

These brief but monumental moments owe their significance to the 23.4 degree tilt of the Earth's axis. Because of the tilt, we receive the Sun's rays most directly in the summer. In the winter, when we are tilted away from the Sun, the rays pass through the atmosphere at a greater slant, bringing lower temperatures. If the Earth rotated on an axis perpendicular to the plane of the Earth's orbit around the Sun, there would be no variation in day lengths or temperatures throughout the year, and we would not have seasons.

much of what has been worked on these last few months comes to fruition this coming week. this seems to be true in several cases. the peer mentoring training happens next saturday. there is a party for all the participants that evening, and a farewell dinner the following tuesday evening. the next step for this adventure waits in the wings with no definitive answer.

simultaneously, the contract i have held for the last six months to support peer led efforts to create linkage to care and psychosocial support networking comes to an end on the last day of march. it has been quite a learning experience and a hella ride. it offered the financing to bring mr van essen and his benefits wisdom to denver. it has paid a huge portion of the fees for the hiv retreats in grand lake colorado this summer. and the educational forums have purchased a power point projector, a laptop, and several other items to help ensure it continuity.

it also has allowed me to establish a furthering of the infected persons involved in the delivery of hiv care in our system. (this i find the most delightful). i have had the feeling that collectively we have been accepting much that is spoon fed by others with regard to care, and i think this new option offers perhaps a healthier alternative.

and the employment i have been romancing will come to a head during this same time period. i dance around excitement, but feel confident i can accept the outcome. at least eventually.

i cannot at all claim knowledge of why all these items seem to converge during the same week. perhaps its biorhythm. perhaps it's coincidence. or could it be the approaching vernal equinox? perhaps they are not at all connected. but my imagination would have me believe that something greater than me is at work in all this. and all i can really do is hang on to my hat. oh, and i'm making sure there is plenty of room for wonderful things to happen.

today's sound choice is the theme song from the 1960's tv show "the flying nun" starring sally field.

The Flying Nun
Uploaded by bearsurfer

hallelujah, i'm home

lake shadow from a speedboat (never summer mountains in the backdrop) and lake shadow from shadowcliff resort

the weekend has come to a close. i certainly feel as if i have gotten away. that in itself is a miracle and a blessing. unusual thing though, i found that i still hold back a little from letting go. i needed some alone time and took advantage of it. i love the sound of the river as it winds down the mountain to spill out into shadow lake. it is the sound of white noise and that provided the backdrop for most of the weekend.

i solidified an idea for a new support group to implement as well. in conversations with several men at the retreat, i realize that this particular need is real and creates a huge hole in our service continuum. more details to follow.

i am sure that i have mentioned that i also do some catering work on the side to supplement the social service income that i earn. i got home to realize that a party that i worked for a caterer the previous weekend did not include a gratuity and it stung a bit. the chef had run out of food and did a poor job of taking responsibility for her blunder. and i am not sure if we didn't get tipped or if she just didn't forward such. and now i have to ask. yuk!

paradise

greetings from 9500 feet above sea level. above are a shot from my room and then a pic during a hike.

lovely grand lake colorado. i have never been here before in the summertime. it is glorious-about 15 degrees cooler than denver and so very scenic. the air is cool and clear and the pace is much less hurried.

the retreat has been interesting. there are some guys from detroit, new york, ft. lauderdale, mississipi, georgia, arizona, and plenty from california. many are spending their days getting massages and body work. i tend to shy away from those types of things, instead i am hiking, reading, and napping. i did qi qong and tai chi the first morning but have opted to post today.

have met some nice guys, and some colorful ones,too. i especially am smitten with the guy from detroit who runs a nonprofit. he and his partner seem so normal and are so sweet. and i have been picking his brain as to how to choose a board of directors for a non-profit.

we are taking a sweet boat ride today on the lake and tonight is the final night. i am starting to wind down and feel rested. i could use another week away, i think.