colorado meth project

the latest press release from the colorado meth project. read more about the organization and it's efforts at http://www.coloradomethproject.org/

Meth Project 2010

spring 2010

TEN Newsletter Spring 2010

Beatty Recognized for Advocacy Work

SIN- Strength In Numbers Colorado is ecstatic about this year's selection to receive the Carl Frazier Memoriam for community advocacy. The local recognition began in 2009 as a response to the untimely loss of one if its members in July 2008. To commemorate Carl, as well as promote a stronger sense of community among Colorado's HIV positive citizens, the CFM was created and the 2009 recipient was Arthur Powers. This will hopefully continue to grow as a mechanism for the poz community here to say Thank You to our own. Michael is a shining example of consistent community input. Below is Beatty's bio and a snapshot of his amazing scope of work (actually put together by Drew Wilson of Mile High Gay Guy). The award will be presented at the annual Gill Foundation Community Forum to be held at Hamburger Mary's on March 30th. RSVP required. The following article is reprinted from http://www.ontheten.com/ and the TEN newsletter.

Congratulations Michael... And Thank You for all your beautiful work.

Michael Beatty is a Denver-based marketing and promotions professional with extensive experience in event planning and fundraising and a long history of professional and personal association with Colorado’s HIV and gay communities.

Having worked in the HIV community since the early 1990s, Beatty is honored and humbled to be the recipient of the 2010 Carl Frazier Award. The Carl Frazier Memorial Award is named for Strength In Numbers contributor Carl Frazier, who was murdered in 2008, and is awarded annually by Strength in Numbers Colorado to recognize excellence in HIV community advocacy.


“It’s such an honor to be recognized for doing the work I love to do,” said Beatty. “This work feeds my soul and gives me reason to get up in the morning. It’s all about contributing to my community and making a difference in peoples’ lives.”


Beatty, who has lived with HIV since 1985, was approached in 1993 by Charles Robbins, founder of Colorado’s Project Angel Heart, to become a member of the rapidly growing organization’s team. Founded in 1991 to provide nutritious meals to members of the Denver community living with HIV/AIDS and other life-threatening illnesses, Project Angel Heart now serves over 800 clients every week.


Beatty credits Robbins with seeing in him a potential for community service that Beatty himself did not. As program director of Project Angel Heart’s Center for Living, Michael Beatty began the first steps of his professional and personal journey through the world of HIV advocacy.


Soon after, Beatty began a 15-year association with the Colorado chapter of AIDS, Medicine, & Miracles as Director of Constituency Relations and retreat producer. AM&M coordinates holistic retreats and one-day programs around the country for people living with and affected by HIV/AIDS.


Beatty’s work in the HIV/AIDS and gay communities throughout the years has also included serving as Event Director for the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, & Transgender Center of Colorado and employment with Gay Men’s Health Crisis, Boulder County AIDS Project, Denver PrideFest, POZ magazine, Out Front Colorado newspaper, and collaborated in the production of three Denver HIV Health Fairs, the HIV Retreats, and the Community Education Forums.


“Everything I’ve done professionally has given me an opportunity to be of service to the HIV community,” said Beatty. “As a person living with HIV and as a person on a journey of recovery from cocaine since 1990 I feel that I’m alive for a reason and that reason is that there’s work for me to do.”


It was attending a Strength In Numbers breakfast gathering that Michael Beatty met Carl Frazier. He is now proud to be the recipient of Frazier's namesake award and thrilled that the good work of the Community Educat10nal Forums and the HIV Retreats at Shadowcliff has evolved under the leadership of Michael Dorsch and Rod Rushing through TEN (Treatment Educat10n Network). If I were to recognize two people in our community who made significant differences in our lives, it would be Michael and Rod, you guys ROCK!
For nearly 20 years, Michael Beatty’s professional and personal philosophy has been one of contribution and service to the community, and to this day, Beatty dedicates his work to those who have lost their battle against HIV, as well as to those who continue to fight and thrive.


“The bottom line is that it’s all about creating a life I love living by helping others create a life they can love living,” said Beatty. “I want to empower my gay brothers with the information that they are wonderful and complete and whole and deserving of the abundance that life has to offer.”

melancholy

another mixed bag today. there was another series of setbacks in redoing things at home. the white paint i had for some touch up and to cover a cabinet in the bathroom didn't hold up from its last use. when i put the new drapes up, the hardware didn't hold up to the weight of the lined belgian linen. everything toppled on the floor. my cousin borrowed my vacuum and the brand new carpeting needs a combing like there is no tomorrow. and to top it off, i moved my houseplants to the patio while my kitchen and bathroom were painted. the sun singed three of them. they are gonners.

then, i received a letter from the i.r.s. today. naturally i got nervous when i saw the envelope and had to find a quiet place to open her up. it was addressed to treatment education network and here is what it said.....

Dear Applicant:

We are pleased to inform you that that upon review of your application for the exempt status we have determined that you are exempt from Federal income tax under section 501(c)3 of the Internal Revenue Code. You are also qualified to receive tax deductible bequests, devises, transfers or gifts under section 2055, 2106, or 2522 of th Code. Because this letter could help resolve any questions regarding your exempt status, you should keep it in your permanent records.

Organizations exempt under section 501(c)3 of the Code are further classified as either public charities or private foundations. We determined that you are a public charity under the Code section listing in the heading of this letter.

wish i could be more excited.


today's sound choice is colorado's own the fray with a cover version of kanye west's "heartless"

if i survive

Later, I realized that the mission had to end in a let-down because the real barrier wasn't in the sky but in our knowledge and experience of supersonic flight.
Chuck Yeager

change is definitely upon me. i can almost feel myself peeling and shedding. i embark on a new journey tomorrow and there is excitement definitely mixed with anxiety. right now it feels as if i am shedding my thick skin outer layer. i will begin working for a large organization. i have entered this type of endeavor only one time previously and it was a double edged sword, and no doubt it will be much the same. a whole new set of challenges around assimilation along with the rewards of consistency.

many things that are happening in the rest of my world seem to really cut more than just sting. and i have been struggling to not take things personally and to keep a focus forward.

i have been overwhelmed with the process of creating ten. the mere specifics of 2 persons making all the decisions has found me in discord over some key issues. mediation was brought in, but didn't seem to have an effect, as i am realizing people do just as they want whether there are agreements or not. and the most chilling aspect to this is that i am, indeed, the very same. pisser though, as i would really like to be angry and be a victim here. this leaves me not really knowing how to feel- so i find myself wading in frustration. but make no mistake, i don't feel hopeless. i just cannot pretend to feel inspired, either.

the other evening, at a meeting, a colleague i haven't spoken to in months, basically snubbed me. the last time we spoke, she said she was going to try to get me a job with the organization where she worked(working with incarcerated persons with hiv). fast forward to last thursday where she can't give me the time of day. very puzzling. part of me says- "don't make this about you" as it is really about her.. much easier said than done on my part. could she be angry with me because i didn't wait for her to get me a job? seems ludicrous, but i am still going to be a colleague and i wonder if this temperature change is permanent.

but this is my final day before take-off. no doubt i am restless. i can almost taste the change. i am hoping in some ways this direction will resemble breaking the sound barrier, or at least some barriers. for more than just me.

today's sound choice is one of my very favorite electronic orchestras- hybrid. the name of this track is "if i survive" featuring julie cruise. i encourage you to give hybrid a listen if you haven't before. often there is a symphonic quality that gives me goose bumps and makes my heart smile.

turning point

“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.”

i am taking a hiatus this week- to pull some last minute reports together to finalize what i have been working on these last 6 months or so, and to get my head clear to start my new position. i have some apprehension, of course, because i will be stepping into a much more controlled environment. i have become very used to sort of freefalling and this will need to change.

on the flipside, i will not be required to work so many nights and weekends as i will be earning a more robust wage. i am fascinated to have my weekends back. there is apprehension and there is some fear here. starting something new usually contains those elements. and i can think of 2 patients at the clinic that really would not be a good fit for me to work with. i'm sure there are others.

but learning and service are what this needs to be about. i have concerns, but in contrast, i am filled with curiosity and some determination. i would very much like to be part of a change somehow. i totally believe that peer advocacy and mentoring can be a very powerful and effective asset.

simultaneously, there is an organization i have been working on creating. unsure of whether the difficulies are me or in my lack of focus or a lack of definition, i am feeling it is not moving forward. it seems that my vision is not shared by others on the board and i am not interested in battling. i am going to rethink the entire effort and hopefully come to a revised position and direction. i know that my intention is to create an entity that is both encouraging and empowering to other poz individuals and i feel the current mindset is in opposition to that-i.e. restrictive and exclusive. the biggest challenge in all this is finding the strength to be honest.

and then there's the peer mentoring program we have actively been working on creating for colorado. the training has taken place, it is quite obvious much more work needs to be done, and i get concerned that i may not have time to give it, and that others may not step up to the plate. and then there's the bickering factor. it becomes so easy to find differences and focus on those, that collaboration becomes like avalon and drifts into the mists.

love you madly. now back to my reports. and then my weekend.

today's sound choice is william orbit with "water from a vine leaf"

visceral

swap your dull grey thoughts
for fierce demands you can stand up to
don't put yourself down, you'll never win
so let's all smash through
through the fear of being real
through the fear of being really you
'cause living it up, it's a big deal
it's good for you

i had a reaction today to an email that was actually a reaction from somewhere inside me. i had no real control or input in how i reacted. i just reacted. it was spontaneous. it was reflexive. it was visceral.

sometimes i need to remember that i am indeed human. i cannot forego the uncomfortability of over-reacting and not thinking things through sometimes. not sure what will come of it all, but it has shaken up my world a bit.

or maybe i am just over tired from everything this month.

it has snowed about a foot yesterday and perhaps it is really the universe letting me (along with many others) that we need to just chill for a little bit. just hang out and take it easy.

today's sound choice is vintage tones on tale- "go"

century plant

Didn't know how to tell her
for over thirty years,
he kept locked up inside himself
and no one saw the tears.
And then she went away,
and he woke up that day
Now he brings roses
to his sweetheart,
she lives most anywhere.
He sees someone sufferin'
he knows that despair.

what a week i have had! i was not at all prepared for the bounty that was laid before me at this training. such solid yet so quiet personalities from so many corners of our state. and i think i had imagined bridging some crevasses between us, but i had never ventured to guess what that would feel like.

this week, i was graced with that opportunity. the feeling has surrounded me like few i can remember so vividly. i am humbled, excited, and certainly dwarfed by the posibilities of our initial groundwork.

it will definitely involve many challenges to create a solid flow of information and agreement between our distant communities, however i honestly believe it is most definitely worth much more than the effort.

when i think of the sheer devastation that can be felt with a diagnosis when living in a more remote location such as durango or weld county, i am frozen. the challenges i have felt early on in my journey with hiv must seem luxurious compared to a similar path in a small town in the middle of the country. a thoughtful connection to somewhere bigger may offer warmth on a very cold evening. and an understanding and inclusive perspective, albeit distant, may expand some boundaries for some.

this is why a colorado coalition of pwa's seems a good idea to me. i don't believe that the oppourtunity for such a thing comes every day. but it is here now. and i think it needs to taken for a test drive.

today's sound choice is from the musical camp- "century plant"

back to basics

city park denver from my blackberry

happy st patricks day to y'all and top o' the morning. another spring has arrived and life seems quite good. i have begun to walk the park as i have taken the entire fall and winter off (and gained significant weight i might add). it was challenging yesterday just for me to get the 3 1/2 miles around.

the peer mentoring training (hiv one on one) starts on saturday. our out of town guests will check in to their hotels on friday. this is exciting and no doubt will be an adventure. we are hosting a party on saturday night and also a farewell dinner on tuesday night. lots of things happening.

on thursday evening i am scheduled to attend the first board meeting for ten. it should be interesting to say the least. i have found myself feeling a myriad of things with regard to this project. the good thing is that i'm learning i'm entitled to my feelings, whether they are helpful or not.

and i still wait to hear about a new gig which will no doubt change my life enourmously. i haven't worked a 40 hour a week job since last year, and it may take some readjusting. and i don't know if i've even approached the land of "i didn't get it", but that may need to be visited, too.

today's sound choice is shapeshifters with "back to basics"

holding on to my hat

Reasons for the Seasons

These brief but monumental moments owe their significance to the 23.4 degree tilt of the Earth's axis. Because of the tilt, we receive the Sun's rays most directly in the summer. In the winter, when we are tilted away from the Sun, the rays pass through the atmosphere at a greater slant, bringing lower temperatures. If the Earth rotated on an axis perpendicular to the plane of the Earth's orbit around the Sun, there would be no variation in day lengths or temperatures throughout the year, and we would not have seasons.

much of what has been worked on these last few months comes to fruition this coming week. this seems to be true in several cases. the peer mentoring training happens next saturday. there is a party for all the participants that evening, and a farewell dinner the following tuesday evening. the next step for this adventure waits in the wings with no definitive answer.

simultaneously, the contract i have held for the last six months to support peer led efforts to create linkage to care and psychosocial support networking comes to an end on the last day of march. it has been quite a learning experience and a hella ride. it offered the financing to bring mr van essen and his benefits wisdom to denver. it has paid a huge portion of the fees for the hiv retreats in grand lake colorado this summer. and the educational forums have purchased a power point projector, a laptop, and several other items to help ensure it continuity.

it also has allowed me to establish a furthering of the infected persons involved in the delivery of hiv care in our system. (this i find the most delightful). i have had the feeling that collectively we have been accepting much that is spoon fed by others with regard to care, and i think this new option offers perhaps a healthier alternative.

and the employment i have been romancing will come to a head during this same time period. i dance around excitement, but feel confident i can accept the outcome. at least eventually.

i cannot at all claim knowledge of why all these items seem to converge during the same week. perhaps its biorhythm. perhaps it's coincidence. or could it be the approaching vernal equinox? perhaps they are not at all connected. but my imagination would have me believe that something greater than me is at work in all this. and all i can really do is hang on to my hat. oh, and i'm making sure there is plenty of room for wonderful things to happen.

today's sound choice is the theme song from the 1960's tv show "the flying nun" starring sally field.

The Flying Nun
Uploaded by bearsurfer

rainbow connection

it ain't easy being green....

i cannot convey accurately the sheer bliss that fills me at this juncture of my life. i could never have imagined that just surrendering to recovery would have led me down such a path. it's never perfect, however, it is sublime. even when i'm busy and dizzy, it is mixed with trust and perspective.

i am so busy these days, i can barely remember what rested feels like. this is, of course, a platinum problem. and i try to remember that.

i have a friend working on a website for T E N (treatment education network). we have a new little logo which is the boggle letters and i like that. we have 5 pages we are looking to have on the site for the start. it's gotta be kinda fast because the funding i was given for it runs out in march.

this is just a tiny thing i have been playing with. i am sure i will change it 50 times before we put it up. the hope is that it will be health and wellness info and have many contributors. i just want it to have some 5280 flavor in its stories and its perspectives.

take a look.. this is a blog only that i am showing.. it will be linked to the main page..

ontheten

and here is a peek at the splashpage for the site... on the ten

am going to santa fe for a couple of days later this week. am blissfully working on yet another project and i also get to give my almost brother of a cousin a little getaway for his birthday.


today's sound choice is jason mraz doing kermit's "rainbow connection"

T E N

“If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

will wonders never cease? after all that nonsense in march and april in my professional life, i have decided to follow a new path with the help of a few friends. it is a bit scary i suppose, but i don't have too much invested yet either.

we are going to start an agency for hiv positives which is operated by hiv positives. i know that this happens in other cities, and i believe that it is how aso's (aids service organizations) began here, but that changed long ago in denver. and i think that an insider view might be useful in the system of service delivery.

here is the beginnings of our mission:

Treatment Education Network’s mission is to educate and empower individuals living with HIV through peer-led programming, linkage to care, support services, information dissemination, and advocacy. We also provide services to the broader community to increase HIV knowledge and sensitivity, and to reduce the risk of infection.

and a friend who has signed on as legal counsel advises that we add: "This organization may also engage in any other activities permitted under section 501(c)(3) of the Internal Revenue Code."

we have decided to name the venture "Treatment Education Network" (TEN). The marketing possibilities are huge with that name i think. we will undoubtedly need a logo, so if anyone out there is interested in donating some possibilities, they would be welcome. (slim to none budget you know)

again, i say "will wonders never cease". this journey of life and recovery really blows me away sometimes. this indeed could be another of the promises coming true in my life. i just hope that we can bring some light in some dark rooms along the way.

i have been looking for this song for quite awhile on youtube. it was played at the very end of the film "longtime companion". although i lived in chicago and not new york, that film remains a lifelike journal of the eighties for me. and i always loved the song at the end, probably because i sat so long in the theatre after the film ended just trying to figure out what to do with all my feelings. lyrics for postmortem bar here