happy st patricks day to y'all and top o' the morning. another spring has arrived and life seems quite good. i have begun to walk the park as i have taken the entire fall and winter off (and gained significant weight i might add). it was challenging yesterday just for me to get the 3 1/2 miles around.
the peer mentoring training (hiv one on one) starts on saturday. our out of town guests will check in to their hotels on friday. this is exciting and no doubt will be an adventure. we are hosting a party on saturday night and also a farewell dinner on tuesday night. lots of things happening.
on thursday evening i am scheduled to attend the first board meeting for ten. it should be interesting to say the least. i have found myself feeling a myriad of things with regard to this project. the good thing is that i'm learning i'm entitled to my feelings, whether they are helpful or not.
and i still wait to hear about a new gig which will no doubt change my life enourmously. i haven't worked a 40 hour a week job since last year, and it may take some readjusting. and i don't know if i've even approached the land of "i didn't get it", but that may need to be visited, too.
The idea of an experienced HIV positive person working with a newly diagnosed person is not unique. It makes a lot of sense on many levels. There are so many things to learn and absorb as one enters the HIV treatment arena, i.e. names of meds, blood test results, acronyms to name just a few. Also, however, there are habits that need to change for one to become successful with their own healthcare. Recommended doctor visits must increase from the sporadic ones that most people engage in, or on an as-needed basis, to regular checkups with blood draws involved to monitor the progress of the virus. This usually becomes once every 3 to 6 months in most cases and is a far cry from the now and then behaviors prior.
And finally there are the emotional hills and valleys that accompany a diagnosis. A person moves through them, much as they move through the loss of a loved one. There is shock, denial and disbelief, anger, bargaining and finally acceptance. Many of us who were diagnosed early on may not have grieved properly as so many of our contemporaries were slipping away completely and we might have been busy attending funerals and helping sick friends, although keeping busy felt like it kept us sane in so many ways. But grieving our former health is normal and almost required before true acceptance kicks in.
This is merely a snapshot of the roller coaster that new Poz persons embark upon and it may be that newly hired and degreed case managers may not have a full grasp on the enormity of emotions and questions involved. But experienced Poz persons are more likely to understand these nuances. We have trekked these emotional “14’ers” as it were, and can make great guides. HIV ONE ON ONE allows us to do this. We need you. These newcomers need you. HIV ONE ON ONE is meant to develop and train people to do just this. Take what we know and reach out and share that knowledge.
The 1st rollout will be a training of “trainers”. This will be geared specifically toward experience poz persons who are also good communicators and will be comfortable teaching the self-management module and the “how to be a mentor” module to groups of people. They should have experience in public speaking and a solid history of recurring and steady healthcare. They would also benefit from the ability to troubleshoot an emotional situation and be comfortable asking for help in such situations. There will be an application process for everyone to ensure transparency and equity in the process. We are hoping to be inclusive of all genders, all races, and all languages.
We are looking for mentors as well, but that training and targeted roundup will happen more toward June 2009. There will be room as we continue to roll out for all who want to be involved to be involved. And we would like each and every one of you to be involved. Even if it’s simply supporting our idea and steering people towards it, we need all of you to consider getting on board. This ride may not be easy, but it doesn’t have to be lonely, either. I hope you’ll consider joining our efforts. Please email rebuiltdenver@yahoo.com to ask for more information and/or to get an application.
today's sound choice is a acoustic remake of young folks by james blunt. i absolutely find it enchanting.
all that drama yesterday and i'm back online. original number is routed and my new phone is up. i need to get a media card in order to do some of the things i want. as you can imagine, i really like music. i very much want to play pandora on it, because i have a station i am just crazy about. (btw- if you want me to forward my station to you, just leave a comment with your email and i'll have it out that day). the station i like the best is definitely chill.
anyway, the learning process of using this sexy little black box demonstrates my age. if i were decades younger, the agility and the basic grasp of how the technology works would be much more ingrained. but no matter, i am who i am. i've already downloaded facebook and my email accounts.
the funny part is how very out of my mind i was when i felt absolutely no control in the process yesterday. it was sincerely unsettling. i woke up and felt as if i hadn't slept and was possessed until i got things handled. and a scary part is that it was all handled without any effort from me. i got to the service shop and the problems were all resolved. insane with anxiety for 12 hours and no input needed. kinda like great sex with no orgasm.
had another meltdown today with a fellow committee member. we are developing a peer mentoring program and i am feeling nervous about the lack of participation by others. this other person is concerned with process and developing a mission and a plan. both are important, but my head felt as if it would explode. it didn't, of course, which may or may not be a blessing. but it did inspire me to ask for some help.
what is that saying- "the lord works in mysterious ways" i think my grandmother used to use that a lot. my higher power seemed to have operated today through a storm....
just for kicks, let's make today's sound choice a swedish theatre's version of "tornado" from the wiz..
So I won't give up No I won't break down Sooner than it seems life turns around And I will be strong Even if it all goes wrong When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe Someone's watching over me
we are busy readying the rollout for the "train the trainer" peer mentoring program here in denver. this, of course, in conjunction with everything else we do in our lives. it's exciting though, the prospect of renewing a sense of reaching out and giving back in the realm of hiv.
for any long term survivors, or even folks in their 50's and higher, it would be easy to remember just how people were in touch with the spirit of community and charity with regard to the hiv virus.
we have decided to name the program one-on-one (hiv 1 on 1) actually. i like it. it's simple and it really says it all. i had a real thrill today looking at some sample boards for marketing collateral, and offering ideas to appeal to multi-populations.
small update here today, too. my workmate that had been disgruntled and was posting the negative propaganda on facebook and through letters to the planning council has sent a letter of resignation to the director on new year's day. it just so happens that same day this person went with that same director to the movies and didn't mention a thing about their upcoming resignation. i have un-friended them on fb. i just don't need to know if they blame me for their problems any further. i am saddened by the shift in perception that has taken place, but i am thankful that this person is making moves to take care of themselves. if it's anything else other than that in disguise is not of much import to me. i really want them to succeed.
i have been busy readying for a file audit in our office. it is trudging at its best, but it reconnects me with each client as i go through the process.
today's sound choice is a guilty pleasure for me- hilary duff with "someone watching over me" here's a bit of trivia- this vid has been viewed on youtube over 6,490,000 times...
