reality check that is..
Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark.--Rabindranath Tagore
the prognosis of "normal" is definitely not all it's cracked up to be. i have never really aspired to be normal, mostly because the likelihood of me reachiing that goal is nil. but it has always remained in my focus because that's what most individuals use as a marker.
so imagine my distress to spend years working hard at doing the right thing, only to discover that sometimes my head is full of crap and that i make foolish decisions and quick judgements just as easily as i pause when i'm agitated. no smoke, no mirrors, no distracting one's attention. just me and my "nothing specialness".
this is one of those times that i need to find gratitude. i know of so many many things to be grateful for. the trick is to connect with that gratitude. gratitude, like faith, is kinetic, much like the sun. at times it's completely evident, but there are other times when it's obstructed, and i have to really work at remembering what it's like when it's in view.