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Wednesday, March 24, 2010

check please

reality check that is..

Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark.--Rabindranath Tagore

the prognosis of "normal" is definitely not all it's cracked up to be. i have never really aspired to be normal, mostly because the likelihood of me reachiing that goal is nil. but it has always remained in my focus because that's what most individuals use as a marker.

so imagine my distress to spend years working hard at doing the right thing, only to discover that sometimes my head is full of crap and that i make foolish decisions and quick judgements just as easily as i pause when i'm agitated. no smoke, no mirrors, no distracting one's attention. just me and my "nothing specialness".

this is one of those times that i need to find gratitude. i know of so many many things to be grateful for. the trick is to connect with that gratitude. gratitude, like faith, is kinetic, much like the sun. at times it's completely evident, but there are other times  when it's obstructed, and i have to really work at remembering what it's like when it's in view.

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Jeremiah Andrews said...

I don't know what normal is. But if you count the numbers, I sit as close to normal as I will ever get. Yet even at normal my body can quirk at any given moment. Which it did last week. Not even 1462 can save me from a microbe.

In recovery, I still don't know what normal is because some days my emotions are all over the map. And I cry out for help and I search for faith and meaning.

Gratitude is one of those "default" modes that we are supposed to fall back on when we loose our way. When one doesn't have a topic for a meeting, the topic of gratitude always comes to the floor.

As often as I think about it, I can forget that it exists. And I think that for me, I should remember gratitude more often.

But what is recovery without a little test here and there to remind us what we still have to find on a daily basis.

Faith, Peace, Love and Gratitude.

goodnight from Montreal.


Sheria said...

My friend, I think that normal is to be human, and humans are flawed. We make mistakes; we screw up. I think that it's how we respond to our screw ups that's important. We do what we can to make amends. We try yo make better choices in the future. We remember to show compassion to others when they screw up too. We also have to remember to show compassion to ourselves and forgive our own failings, after all, we're human.

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