How can I be sure ?
When your intrusion is my illusion
How can I be sure
When all the time you changed my mind
I asked for more and more
How can I be sure
When you don’t give me love
You gave me pale shelter
You don’t give me love
You give me cold hands
And I can’t operate on this failure
When all I want to be is
Completely in command
How can I be sure
For all you say you keep me waiting
How can I be sure
When all you do is see me through
I asked for more and more
How can I be sure
I’ve been here before
There is no why, no need to try
I thought you had it all
I’m calling you, I’m calling you
I ask for more and more
How can I be sure
as i became an adult in chicago, i used to hang out in the lakeview area as did so many of the gay guys of my generation. it seems so long ago and so foggy somehow now. on the north side, we did not have the same experiences as our counterparts on the south side. the urban decay was much more prevalent in that part of the city. we were part of a much bigger gentrification.
i used to hang at a club called "smart bar" for a few years. at first it was on the upper floors of the "metro" building over by wrigley field. it was set up in several different rooms and was very much like going to someone's apartment for a house party. but then it moved to the basement of the building. i remember there was black astroturf on some of the walls and hurricane fencing separating the dance floor from the rest of the club.
it was reprezenting its own flavor of urban decay. but it also heralded the beginnings of culture crossing in the north side bars and new growth for our city. some of the club dj's were playing hip hop and that particular crowd would come on those nights. the art crowd and the alternative crowd came on different nights. then the marriages of zones three, four, and five began to occur.
i watched a little cecil b demented last night and found myself smiling from inside. i am ( and have long been) a fan of john waters' film making. there is definitely a part of me that is in love with the strange, the bizarre, and kitsch.
i am posting a photograph i took of an angel that was given to a colleague of mine at my new workplace. it has been in a box for two years. i think it has genuine character and beauty. a beautiful pea green tint with led lights and wings that are motorized. it's just so damn special.
today's sound choice is the spectacular nina hagen with "my way" ... love the stagewear...
forgive me please, but i am having another 80's moment. i am not attempting to recreate vh1's "whatever happened to", i am only reliving some of my past. most of my readers will be familiar with these flashbacks, but perhaps there are some new minds and hearts who are too young to be familiar with these 80's ultra's (my nickname only)
in the 1980's (couldn't tell by the hair, could you) there was a band of skilled and slightly tilted musicians (i know it describes hundreds of bands from then) who performed amazing compositions that evoked feelings much more than other bands from that era that i can think of. their style, i believe, has been referred to as dream pop, and their sound is unmistakably their own. a bit of techno pop and a bit of classical set the backdrop for a pastiche of musical genres and styles. and woven amidst all those pieces was some of the most sensual sounds i have heard to date.
i don't try to fool myself that they are completely unique. i'm sure they are not. but i do believe they were inspired as well as inspiring. the live shows i saw were so sensual, it was almost like taking mda or some other drug. the vibe at these venues was peaceful and flowing, kinda like a ribbon gymnast performance.
They were a phenomenon. Not necessarily the kind that plays to stadiums or fills MTV's timeslots or even sells millions of records. Rather, the kind that quietly causes a fundamental shift in perception, exerting a seminal influence that is universally felt if not always seen. Even after having called it quits in 1998—ending a 15-year career together that was impressive by any measure—their mark continues to be recognized everywhere, and legions of fans still hunger for more. But more is not likely to come soon.
In the midst of recording their ninth proper LP as a group—the follow-up to the 1996 release Milk & Kisses—Cocteau Twins decided "enough was enough." Elizabeth Fraser, the group's beguiling, singularly distinctive singer, took her leave and moved away from London to pursue a promising solo career. Her long-time collaborators—Robin Guthrie and Simon Raymonde—continue to focus on their own musical pursuits. Simon's solo work and involvement in developing new talent and Robin's new project, Violet Indiana—along with their successful independent record label, Bella Union—have proven that life beyond Cocteau Twins can be fruitful indeed.
“A changing environment will affect Alaska more than any other state, because of our location. I'm not one though who would attribute it to being man-made,” Sarah Palin
hmmm- seems someone besides "man" has been very busy. first getting a gas pipeline in alaska and now fighting a holy war for oil rights in iraq. and these are god's plans? i guess we all just melt with you sarah......
i was searching on youtube for a song by nouvelle vague. they do cover versions of pop songs and i have recently gotten into listening to covers. natasha bedingfield gives great cover too, but nouveau vague has a je ne sais quoi. anyway, i stumbled upon this clip of an old brad pitt film with a much younger catherine keener.
i saw this film (johnny suede) a lifetime ago. it was pretty campy. brad's hair shrieks both 80's AND rockabilly revival and i got a chuckle. hope you do as well. oh and the nouvelle vague cover of i'll melt with you gives me the shivers.
ps. i added a pic of me in a skirt from 1983 to my "fashion" post from 2 days ago. it's crazy. i knew had that pic somewhere and it drove me nuts until i found it. it was taken upstairs at medusa's and leslie stephens is working the juice bar. i think it's at the end of the night(or beginning of next morning). there might be a kiki glaze in my eyes.
