i got the music in me

The best teachers teach from the heart, not from the book. ~Author Unknown

all right- did michele obama rock da house last night or what? quite a public speaker..


anyway, happy birthday to me.... i left one of my hiv meds at home. i brought two bottles of another in error. i only had to speak to a concierge and i got the name of a local pharmacy, emailed my doctor to call in a scrip, then i had to call 2 numbers at my insurance company to see if they would approve a 2nd scrip within a month. thank god i have vacation privileges with meds...

today was the first day of the hrsa ryan white grantee conference 2008. i must say i started out feeling a bit out of place, but then i always do. once i had a coffee i realized that i was completely where i should be. i am an acting co-chair for planning council for the mohr denver. i have the responsibility to understand what programs are going on in in the rest of the country. and i have the privilege of seeking new directions that might fit our city.

the peer to peer programming is probably the most intriguing to me. i know that, in denver, there is not really poz involvement in outreach for prevention, nor is there any real poz presence in diagnosis assimilation processes. i think this a damn shame. i have learned through the 12step process that having people around who have successfully worked through their issues helped me immensely. in the beginning it helped me even believe that i could do it. then further in, with the help of a triumphant predecessor, i have been able to meander through this emotional and situational minefield called life with my own meager success.

i hold the belief that if you have done it, you have the skill to help someone else. if you have not, you may help, but you are not an expert. i am prejudiced in this way, but i am not married to being right.

i do know that i love working with folks with hiv now. after 12 years of living in fear and denial about it, followed by 10 years on meds, i have come to realize that i have some terrain knowledge of this journey. i have a skill set for troubleshooting that can be a great asset for someone. i know there are others like me. and i think they can benefit from just re-learning this about themselves. not to mention the benefit to the new poz that hasn't a clue.

i'm working on helping build a poz network of poz guys working together in my town. i know that we need one. and when i say we, i mean the whole community needs us to have a stronger poz network. it's a win-win. and the poz guys have done a lot of the footwork already. we just have to remember we can do this.

a damn shame

"Man In The Mirror"

I'm Gonna Make A Change,
For Once In My Life
It's Gonna Feel Real Good,
Gonna Make A Difference
Gonna Make It Right . . .

firstly a happy 50th birthday to michael jackson. he was born in august of the same year as madonna and me. although we aren't close any longer, there was a time in my mind that we were travelling along similar paths. that all fell apart though. i know that he starting visibly disintegrating first. he has morphed into someone completely different than he started out. but considering the extent of his arc, how could he not. i personally wish him health and wellness. and i hope he feels love and peace. happy birthday.

there is no real surprise at the following article from the washington blade. but why doesn't it outrage me? why do i just accept it quietly? when will i demand change and work for that?

DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA: "D.C. Clinic's HIV Case Numbers Surge"
Washington Blade (08.15.08):: Lou Chibbaro Jr.

The number of HIV-positive test results at Whitman-Walker Clinic increased by 232 percent this year, though the clinic did not test more patients, officials there said recently. In the first half of this year, Whitman-Walker tested about 6,500 patients and 266 were found to be HIV-positive. The clinic tested roughly the same number in the first half of 2007, when only 80 tested HIV-positive.

"These are troubling statistics that warrant more aggressive education, prevention, and testing initiatives," said Dr. Raymond Martins, Whitman-Walker's chief medical officer. Clinic officials are reviewing demographic and other patient information to help explain the increase. Most of the cases were gay men and African Americans, and one-third had already progressed to AIDS, Martins added.

Whitman-Walker's testing data suggest an actual increase in new HIV infections among its client base, said Martins.

"At each of our testing sites, we are seeing an increasing number of young gay men, particularly African-American men, coming to us newly infected," said Justin Goforth, director of the clinic's medical adherence unit. "These are young men who don't remember the first wave of the HIV/AIDS epidemic and came of age when effective treatments were available. As a result, they have never seen HIV as a major problem."

Whitman-Walker recently conducted focus groups among African-American heterosexuals and young gay men, including men of color, to see why infections are rising among certain groups, the clinic said.

"One surprising theme emerged - even though everyone recognized HIV was a serious issue, every group identified HIV as really being a problem for another demographic group," according to a clinic statement. "This is of great concern because the highest risk groups do not identify themselves as being high-risk and thus increase their susceptibility to HIV through unsafe behavior and a lack of knowledge."

sidebar- i got an ear-to-ear grin reading willie's post.