i got a call yesterday morning from a friend who is struggling with some depression. and i can relate a little to how he feels. his 1 yr birthday for being sober was yesterday and he was filled with a lot of "not much" around celebration. he also said that he has been extremely busy as of late and yesterday he didn't really have much on his calendar. i know that these kinds of melancholy blues happen. they happen to people in recovery and to people who are not in recovery. i know that these cycles are a part of life.
i think as addicts we had forgotten that we actually had to experience these sort of emotions very much. we had become accustomed to changing our feelings when particularly uncomfortable or unmemorable ones came along. i know i was used to living in sort of an "amped" mode on an everyday basis. and it remains a challenge to endure softer more normal ranges of emotion without the raucous behind-the-scenes clamor.
about 1 year into my sobriety i returned to the gym. i have been going for about 2 yrs now and i find that this little change in my daily schedule (although only an hour and a half a day, it seems little now, but it was huge when i began) has had miraculous effects on my attitude, my health, my self esteem, and the amount of time i smile. the endorphins released during exercise make an decent effort to appease my brains overwhelming desire for dopamine and help me get through the doldrums.
oh and i lost some of the more-than-i-wanted weight gain after quitting meth actually eating food again. beauty and strength. and you never know who you'll meet at the gym.
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