at the last planning council meeting, the opportunity to discuss the lack of a place for hiv+ folks to connect for support and feel at home came up and the idea of a clubhouse or vdw ( veterans of domestic war) hall. or at least a pwa coalition. there was one in existence for quite awhile here in denver but it went away, allegedly when the couple that were running it decided to move on. i am thinking a pwa coalition is quite a sound idea. but is it practical? i mean, will it garner buy-in? the one thing i have noticed about my health (both my physical and mental health) is that it has improved immensely as i started to advocate for other people. it certainly has gotten me outta my own head. and led me to opportunities to learn about many things outside my normal social circle and activities. i have learned i have some worth and i have some survival knowledge. and this has value. and i can share it and i feel useful. and i can relate to others' frustrations. and i can help ease their tension. and i have become passionate again about things in life. certainly not the things that grabbed my attention in my twenties and thirties, but things that do engage my heart. and i think that this engagement-of-the-heart process is contributing to the improved quality i see and feel in my own life today. if a coalition or a clubhouse could transfer this life-enhancing information or "feeling", would it stick? could it increase our collective health, sense of value and enhance our longer lives? i wonder if a men's club with a coffeeshop or cafe and meeting rooms would work. a small yoga and exercise studio might also be great. would it be used? would it find it's way into men's day and evening schedules? is it possible? is it a worthwhile venture? would men support it? do my contemporaries see a need for community any longer?
as unpopular as it is to say, we are not getting any younger. and the sheer fatalism that i had lived with for so many years is no longer serving me. i mean, i am probably gonna be around much longer than i have anticipated, thanks to meds. ok- i'll say it.. i'm getting older. there is a new phenomenon amongst us and it's hiv-ers over 50. i read those words somewhere and they made me think about what i'm gonna do when i'm older. i'm not at all ready but i'm not in charge. and as i age, do i have to go back into the closet? live out my old age in isolation? never again to do my puerto rican drag queen imitations? will i have to sensor my own jokes for heterosexual ears? is there going to be any community out there for me? or can i start building that community now? can i handle the seasons of my life? or is it all just a lesson in letting go? am i a human being or a human doing? am i a spiritual being having a human experience? what is it i believe? and what is it i really want? can i count on you to be around? can you count on me?
maybe a little less coffee this morning....
have a beautiful sunday......
1 comment:
I say don't sensor yourself. Hell, I've announced quite publicly at conferences etc that I'm a former sex-worker, IDU-slash-addict in recovery and just let it all hang out, just to give them a dose of the real world.
PWA Coalitions can be difficult, I tend to work more around issues such as a working group to address barriers to accessing mental health and addiction services.
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