easy to be hard

signore rafael lazzini

today's post is inspired by two things. first, the rememberance of reading dennis cooper's "the sluts". i absolutely loved this small book. it's use of the internet as a vehicle for suspense is profound and compelling. there were some scenes that were so vivid that i still feel a little oogie thinking about them. the backdrop is riddled with drug seeking sex workers, meth addicts, and sex working drug seekers and is definitely a good read. and watch for the snuff-like drama. it curled my toes.

i have liked cooper since the 80's. i remember reading a short story in "tenderness of the wolves" or "frisk" with a scene where a man is fist-fucking a younger man on a window sill in his apartment. they are both loaded and having fun. the fister then notices his watch still on his arm and remembers he needs to be somewhere and is running late. he reaches his arm out the window and shakes his sex partner(fistee) off his arm into a dumpster 3 stories below, turns on the shower and gets ready for the next adventure.

this image haunts me still today, as i truly believe it is a metaphor for the way many many gay men treat each other. completely utilitarian, we treat each other like tissues- we use each other to satisfy our immediate needs and then throw them away.


you can find a book review of "the sluts" here.

the second motivator was this recording of "easy to be hard" from the broadway classic "hair". havva listen and i think you'll agree.

How can people be so heartless
How can people be so cruel
Easy to be hard
Easy to be cold

How can people have no feelings
How can they ignore their friends
Easy to be proud
Easy to say no

And especially people
Who care about strangers
Who care about evil
And social injustice
Do you only
Care about the bleeding crowd?
How about a needing friend?
I need a friend

How can people be so heartless
You know I'm hung up on you
Easy to give in
Easy to help out

And especially people
Who care about strangers
Who say they care about social injustice
Do you only
Care about the bleeding crowd
How about a needing friend?
I need a friend

How can people have no feelings
How can they ignore their friends
Easy to be hard
Easy to be cold
Easy to be proud
Easy to say no

lamb chop

from princessleia

At the turn of the century, wearing very long sideburns-- called mutton chops or lamb chops -- was en vogue. Lamb chop side burns also made a comeback in the late 1960s. A bust in the chops was to get hit in the face. Since Mutton Chops are no longer considered high fashion, the term has come to be figurative rather than literal.

one lamb chop reference here

one lamb chop reference here

my question: are those mutton chops returning to high fashion?


i came across thi vid while i was surfing. i am a longterm gaultier enthusiast. he has a street savvy sensibility that appeals to me. he also loves to surprise and frankly i love to be surprised. this is last winter's show with spring 08 added in. the things i love the most are probably the lamb chops, (no reference to fistfucking), the pegleg trouser('cuz the droopy drawer look makes my flesh crawl) and the hair. oh yes, and the music. "i gotta get out. i gotta get right out..."

sergio parisse

all through my wild days, my mad existence. i kept my promise. don't keep your distance.

am i crazy?

barbra

barbra

barbra

to tell you truth, i am not at all obsessed with barbra. she is an enigma and a force of something or other. her voice is astounding. anyway, i ran across this video. i had never seen it before. where did it come from? doesn't mean i need to ever see it again really. but it's so strange. she does seem natural with that vacuum though, doesn't she?







http://www.addme.com/#1

i'm not a .......

we say - you go girl. glad you're kickin!

Kevin Aviance (thanks to rod online)

then we saw she did just that:

YOU GO GIRL

we came, we saw and heard, and we share....

go pigeonhole your damn self! i'll be what i am and what i wanna be! i'll support your decision to do the same.

what is this "glbt" thing anyway? are "t's" really considered part of community? or is it just the tv's and tg's who perform? are the tg's, tv's, or ts's who don't perform, or have talent, or who aren't "pretty" part of our community as well. i mean in our hearts?

xanadu

recovery is xanadu for me baby. so strangely enough, i am going to salute roller boogie today. i know it's kinda kooky and that's okay. viva la perm. and all hail to things that shimmer and glitter and to olivia newton john.

and if you are short on ideas for fundraisers- this is one that has been working for some folks... just have a xanadu sing-along roller skating party. it's goofy enough to work. and bring on the disco clothes. you know folks love that! drug and alcohol free works,too.

big smiles for you... and lots of love..

here's the article


Rolling back the clock
Tina Fineberg © Acciated Press


Clothing line suits 'Hannah' style
Style briefs, June 28
Rolling back the clock
By Samantha Critchell, Associated Press
June 28, 2007
Dust off that satin bomber jacket and pull on those tube socks - right to the knee, please - then delve into the attic on a mission to find your roller skates: Xanadu is opening on Broadway this month.
Could this be the start of a roller-disco redux? Before you shake your head in disbelief, consider that Macy's giant Herald Square store in New York City plans a "Roller Boogie"-themed in-store boutique, leggings already have become ubiquitous, and gold lamé had a presence on the red carpet at the Oscars this year (a Carolina Herrera gown worn by Jada Pinkett Smith).

Sure, the 1980s might very well be the most maligned fashion decade, but many of its key looks are being worn today - maybe those wearing sorbet-colored tube tops and white-trimmed jogging shorts simply don't know that those pieces had their first heyday as accessories to old-school, four-wheel skates.

At a recent preview of Xanadu, a musical based on the 1980 movie starring Olivia Newton-John about a muse who encourages a starving artist to pursue his dreams of building a roller rink, the cast wore metallic leggings, graphic T-shirts and barrettes made of woven satin ribbon.

That was all to be expected.

But what was particularly noticeable was the mint green dance dress, yellow track jacket and hot pink metallic shoes on a woman in the audience - she could've jumped onstage and blended in seamlessly.

"We're definitely seeing '80s as the latest retro influence, from high-waisted jeans to super bright neon colors to big hair and the return of perms - spotted on both males and females," says Carla Avruch, director of consumer insights and trends at market research firm The Zandl Group.

She points to bands with an '80s throwback sound, such as I Love You but I've Chosen Darkness, '80s-themed nights at clubs and the success of American Apparel, a company that's made tiny, shiny workout shorts cool to people who were probably in diapers when the trend was worn the first time.

Andy Young, a 30-year-old actress, puts on her shortest shorts and miniskirts a few times a week to skate at Central Park in Manhattan.

"It's like a mini little show," she says. "The more fun we're having, the more other people want to join us - and it's reflected in the clothes."

Russell Orlando, a fashion director at Macy's East, says the Let's Get Physical craze was in full swing in the early '80s - both in fitness and in fashion.

"Shorts were skintight but everyone was doing Jane Fonda," he says.

At American Apparel, designers didn't overanalyze the how and the why of bringing back roller-inspired fashion, they simply saw Roller Boogie - a 1979 movie in which Linda Blair tries to save her favorite on-wheels disco - one too many times.

"We became obsessed with that movie," Matthew Swenson, the company's fashion media director, explains. "On a whim, we also bought lamé fabric and turned them into leggings, and the gold and silver took off."



Rink and file

Roller disco clothes should be kept to small doses. How to get the look right:

On wheelz partie_Archos_
Uploaded by sebbouchair

• Focus on finding the shape.

"The inspiration I've taken from the '80s is the general silhouette," says Stacy Bendet, founder of Alice + Olivia. "A high-waisted pant - you can be completely elongated by it. Skinny jeans can be sexy," she says. Try black legwarmers tucked into black or brown boots and worn with a black sweaterdress and black leggings, she says.

• A pair of Dolphin shorts can go a long way. While the roller disco look is flashy and even sometimes skimpy, it's always neat. If you wear short shorts, consider a looser top, perhaps a blousoned halter, or a bodysuit, which, although tight, provides a lot of coverage. If you want to be more subtle, a T-shirt and flouncy miniskirt can give off the '80s vibe.

• If you remember the '80s look from the first time around, act your age. Macy's fashion director Russell Orlando describes the modern version of the '80s look - camisole-strap bodysuits with a front cinch detail, tie-back halter tops - that his store is mimicking as "East Coast preppy meets Venice Beach." The preppy details are the pink-and-green color combinations and slim polo shirts, styled with the collar up, of course. Women who don't want to wear tube tops and short shorts can still go for pieces like a track jacket and a pair of low-profile, contrast-color sneakers.

• Don't take it all too seriously. Orlando is excited about stocking wide headbands - the kind worn horizontally over the forehead - and tube socks. "What we're saying is have fun!"

Olivia Newton John - Xanadu
Uploaded by guy-paul

sunrise

 

about a year after i finally got clean and could stay meth free for more than a few months, i was offered a job in the hiv services field. i had been plus (that's positive) since 1985, but had never really participated in helping too many others, besides friends and acquaintances, and i was in serious denial about my own health and longevity. i had witnessed so much horror around this virus that i really didn't have the gumption to immerse myself in it as so many of my peers did. (and thank god they did). 

it was an entry level position as an advocate and i think the premise for offering me the job was that meth was such a problem in the gay men's community, with relapse being such a part of our stories, and i had somehow come through the other side of that. i think there was a hope that i might help others do the same. so part of my duties was (and is) to co-facilitate a support group for hiv plus persons at a clinic and  model some success. i was also to assist pwh who are currently out-of-care to find their way and comfortably access medical and life care.

i really wasn't sure that i was up to the task. i really only knew two things. i couldn't continue to wait tables for a living any longer and that 1) i had prayed for something new to come my way and 2) this and one other service training position were offered to me in the same week. i had already said yes to the advocacy position so i stuck with it, even though the training position was almost twice the money. www.ittakesavillagecolorado.org

i have not regretted my decision at all. quite the contrary, i have blessed this job on repeated occasions. it has allowed me to grow and become strong in so many areas of my life. i have come to realize that with twenty two years of living with hiv, i have developed some insights and some skills around survival, that have meaning and worth to other people, just as my story has offered some people some direction and hope at a time when they might have really needed it. and the drug addiction history gives me a base of understanding that many of my peers who are "normies" really do not possess. then being bi-polar and having submitted to medication has allowed me to understand the many challenges and difficulties around mental health for people.

today, i am humbled by the journey of the last two years. i realize that i have so much more distance to travel, and i hope i am up to the task. i maintain trusting the process, although that alone has a smorgasbord of challenges.  but it also has a major reward. that being not having to control everything that is going on in my life.  i don't have to feel compelled to strategize about everything. i can let go of that compulsion and grow belief and trust. and that makes me a saner, kinder, more happy-go-lucky person.

so if you are new to recovery, or considering it, i say to you: there isn't a journey i have taken in my life that has been more challenging, more rewarding, and more fulfilling than getting clean. it takes patience, diligence, and surrender, but it's promise and rewards are real. and if  you are feeling isolated and alone and dejected, i understand. but there will be others along your path who soothe that pain and discomfort and take you to a peaceful place. so let them into your life. and try to remember that although it may be very dark and hopeless right now, daylight comes every day without exception. there is light at the end of the tunnel.

 

 

cherish

it's so crazy, this crystal meth addiction trip. the absurd ways i used to spend my time and energy were astounding. gawd, i remember(not really clearly) 4 years ago while in the throes of my addiction, i was sharing a tent with a hooker at skid row in LA, and hustling tricks to bring to her in exchange for drugs so i could get high. i'd watch her knobjob sometimes, but it was usually as dull as dirt. that lifestyle also served as a twisted form of performance art for me. the thrill of the catch and the sell were the hook for me. if i could convince some dude to bite, it would almost be a high in itself. and then during the day, i would set up a little blanket(my store) outside the fire department on 6th and san pedro and sell what shit i had left to my name. i had to price everything for $1 or less because the locals wouldn't pay anything more than that. this really was a challenge, but i managed somehow. i did sell some brand new kenneth coles for $5, various shirts and blazers and socks, and my software collection. one day i actually sold some half-used deodorant for .50 cents, which i was very proud of at the time. how i ever convinced anybody to purchase previously used deodorant is beyond me. i had to hawk that shit, and all that theatre with just one purpose, to get high and push the envelope and see how far i could go. that was a regular day for me 4 years ago.

today, i find myself feeling a bit out of sorts because my things are all in disarray. my townhouse is being painted (lovingly, i might add) and so nothing is where it was 2 days ago. the color is sublime. i can't wait for it to be finished. next come the floors. so i find myself a bit miffed by the inconvenience and conversely not bothered at all. because i know, that compared to 4 years ago, my life today is a hot fudge sundae with a cherry on top.

and speaking of cherries, someone forwarded a link to me that is full of eye-candy, so i thought i would share that with you today. it's got lots of photos and it's fun to move the cursor over the small shots. WITH A CHERRY ON TOP


i also heard yesterday that the proposal for the crystal meth "talking wall" that i submitted to pride committee was accepted and i'm a tad freaked because i have only three weeks to pull it off. and i'm hoping i can channel the where-with-all AND the volunteers. this idea is taken from a chapter in the cirriculum we use in the "getting off" program. originally it was an "installation" produced by the STOPAIDS project in SF in 1996 i believe.
you can check out a sample of the original here: THE TALKING WALL


hopefully you won't mind indulging me a little. sometimes i just feel like a nut. there's something so innocent and so cheesy about this, i realize. it's like early animation. it's not that stellar, but it's fascinating and kinda mesmerizing to watch.

http://www.addme.com/#1

a new recruit

the following was received after a blog this past weekend. i, of course, am humbled by the similarities in so many other stories among my tribe. but then i already know that. that's why i do what i do. and i hope other gay men in recovery realize that although sobriety is a solo journey, we definitely do not travel it alone. i try to welcome others i find along this path and try to have my eyes and arms wide open...



> I am a recent convert to sobriety. I had been an abuser of cocaine "back
> in the day" and stopped cold turkey one day when I used at work, an hour
> before the PTA conference. LOVELY I thought and dumped about $200 of coke
> down the toilet and NEVER used again. No desire, cravings, dreams, etc.
>
> Then dear sister Tina came along about 8 years ago, and I was so hooked on
> it. I didn't have the same "I have to have it NOW" as I did with Coke. I
> HAD to have it, felt that if I didn't get home from work and snort up a
> storm, then go clubbing (NY at the time then Boston) until 2-3a and then
> home with a bunch of guys for a few hours, then nap until 6a the off to work
> to do again. But the overwhelming part was the HAVE to have.
>
> Tina snuck up on me. I was a fabulous time and the sex was perfectly
> beyond words. Then my life went to shit. My now Ex became obsessed with
> it, he'd do anything or anyone to get it. I found myself helping him in it,
> but lived by the "I loved to watch him get fucked", not the "I'm pimping my
> partner" (self-edited for content). I finally woke up one morning with a
> carving knife in his hand about 6" from my neck. I moved the next week.
>
> I continued to use, knowing that the main reason for my used was to keep
> an even keel with him. Great excuse, huh? However, after I snuck out of
> our life and home while he was at work, I continued to use the same. I
> caught myself and slowed down but, well, you know the rest.
>
> I finally degenerated to bathhouse 4-5 times a week on average. Tons of
> it up my veins and being a functioning top at a bathhouse, again, you get
> the pictured. I lost my job because of the brain tumors, or the tumors are
> worsening my arrhythmia, or my T cells are dropping like Texans at the Alamo
> because of the chemo to keep the tumors in check. The list goes on and on.
>
> Finally, Easter, I stopped because the warnings of my cardiologist and
> neurologist that if I continued I'd be dead by the end of the year if I
> didn't quit. So I did. Then 23 days later my brother and his wife were
> killed in a car crash. I got the message 10 minutes before a CMA meeting.
> I should have stayed, true, but NOTHING or NO ONE would stop me from using
> until I got the highest ever.
>
> This turned out to be a good thing. I got high, kinda, and the more I
> tried, the less it worked. I literally left the bathhouse, gave the rest to
> a buddy I know there and as of today, am 32 days clean. And it has been a
> struggle every step of the way.
>
> I have finally given over to G-d and the Universe. I know I will be the
> victor, with the help of others like me. This has been the hardest thing in
> my life, hard to believe considering the other stuff going on, and I never
> imagined it would be so difficult to walk away, like I did with the coke,
> yet still think every waking moment, and most nights. As time has gone on,
> I have worked her into my dream more frequently.
>
> I am so grateful for this and other blogs and websites that have put me in
> touch with others like me. Be it in their postings, writings, or meetings
> in my area (Denver). I am newly clean and am willing to do whatever it
> takes to remain that way.
>
> I want all to know that it is possible, and that "going out" and using
> happens. G-d gives us the tools and strength to do so, free will allows us
> to make a mistake, brush ourselves off, and move on. I testify to that
> whole-heartily.
>
> Will I remain clean for the rest of my life? I hope so. But, then again
> I may falter. The true testimony of the man (or woman) is in what he does
> afterwards.
>
> Continued success to us all. And for those in need, find the
> help, it works.



and just because i have changed addictions and become a youtube addict and love song references...oh and lucas black is da bomb!




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the heart of the matter

in a meeting yesterday, the topic of memorial day came up. it was repeated how this particular holiday (and holidays in general for that matter)  holds some tension for people around cravings. i personally know this is true, but i  also believe that a holiday is an opportunity to create a new "memory" for that day. a chance to let go of resentment and hard feelings that exist around people, places, and things associated with those holidays, including myself. forgiveness of self or of others can seem like it is the weakest, cheesiest, most limp-wristed path to take. but my experience is that forgiving is one of the toughest challenges and the greatest blessings i have given myself and given others. and i continue to practice it in as many areas of my life as possible, both personal and professional, with the most amazing result. that result is that i feel better about living. better about all the mistakes i've made and all the pain i've endured and that i have caused. and subsequently, others feed into that relief and good feeling. my life has changed its course. following is one of my favorite readings i have heard in meetings. it is taken from the book "faith, hope, and courage".

 

Reaching Out

I made it into this Program because someone else worked their Twelfth Step on me. Someone passed it on to me. Someone was out there after they got clean and sober, caring about others. I need to never, ever forget that. Had they simply gone on with their lives and forgotten about people like me who were still out there using and suffering, I wouldn't be here today. My gratitude begins with that fact. It is with that gratitude in mind that I reach out to others, especially the newcomers. I need to have them in my life. That is where my spirituality begins.

For me, spirituality comes from caring about others. I have found that the more I focus on improving the quality of the lives of others, the less I am into myself and my will. I feel a freedom and peace from within. The gifts I am beginning to receive in my life are greater than I could have ever imagined.

Something else I have done is that I have forgiven myself. I have forgiven myself for being an addict. I have forgiven myself for all the damage I did to my life, to my physical health, and to my career and finances. But most of all, I have forgiven myself for all of the horrible, negative and unloving things I have felt about myself. It was not until I offered and accepted my own forgiveness, that I was truly able to grow in my sobriety.

 

i hope you made a new memory yesterday and enjoyed your holiday. i know i did. and i love those days when memories and flashbacks can take on new meanings. and life takes on a completely new purpose and becomes a fresh and exciting experience again.

love never dies

i just came home from the bbq and what a great afternoon i have had. there were at least 110 people there. everybody was noshing and yakking and playing and laughing. fags and dykes from CA, NA, CMA, AA, and some not there quite yet. it's the largest turnout for an afternoon thing that rmru has had in its history, i think. wow- what  a joy. as i looked around, i realized that indeed we do need each other. and we will need each other for the rest of our lives.

 

i ran across this in my searches, and i quietly fell in love with it. and my hope for you is the same.

 

 

oh--- to my friends and readers.... bloggers is spearheading an effort to raise money for our schools. anything that puts dollars in that underfunded area is worth its weight in gold... check it out.....

donors challenge

fellowship

attention all queers in recovery. (and their supporters!)
the rocky mountain roundup is sponsoring a bbq in cheesman park today. 2pm at the south end of the park (right where gay AA plays nellieball) burgers and dogs provided. bring a dish to share and maybe something for the bake sale. desserts will probably be purchased today, so bring an extra dollar or two. ( it all goes to the august roundup in winter park). if you don't have it, big deal. bring your ass anyway. fill your tummy, and laugh your ass off.

i was thinking about how lame i used to think these things were, when i was so tragically hip. but recovery has helped me learn to enjoy simpler get-togethers and outings, and being of service in some way.

so come join us today, play croquet, badminton, nellieball, or headcrushers, get some sun, and have some fun. and get out yourself for a bit. see if it doesn't make a world of difference.

happy 1st birthday thomas c

betch!

nuff said

 

 

i love loretta

Loretta Lynn- Don't Come Home a Drinkin'
Video sent by soulpatrol

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sex inventory

as part of step four, it is custom to do a separate sex inventory, as sex is an integral part of most of our addictions. and that is insanely true for me. i started medicating with sex in my early teens and continued to do so pretty steadily throughout my adult life. i think meth came along as an answer to my mid-life crisis and my feeling that the medicinal qualities that sex held for me were no longer numbing as it had in the past. so when my inhibitions around sex were removed with the introduction of meth, i became insatiable. i am sure i had more sex in the four years i danced with tina, than i had in the ten or fifteen previous years. and not two ounces of it was very meaningful or really worth mentioning on its own. there might be details that stand out, but they relate more to the event than to the person.

when it came time for me to do the sex inventory, there were hundreds of "tricks" that i had to include on my list. so many, that i couldn't remember each person's name and i couldn't remember each specific instance. this was not a pleasure for me to realize or recreate. this actually was horrific and shameful as i began to see how i had been a testosterone vampire if you will. because i realized that i had pretty much used those individuals (and sometimes more than one at a time) for the same thing over and over and  over, just like i used meth and other drugs. i had been objectifying my counterparts. i hadn't honestly cared much for who that other person was. but had been more interested in what they could provide me. 

this eye-opener was extremely humbling and disappointing, because i realized i really wasn't making myself happy at all by repeating the same thing over and over. and i was probably making myself sicker somehow. after discussions with a sponsor, i realized i had better learn how to see the spirit inside men before i tried to see them naked. and i had better find out how to enhance their lives while i tried to explore my needs. jeez- it all seemed so complicated.

my sponsor asked me to write a description of my sexual and my relationship ideal. uh..newsflash... i couldn't even imagine thinking such a thing. i couldn't think i deserved it. and i couldn't even fathom what it might entail. i have slowly been working on this assignment. it's been quite some number of days now and i still haven't written it all down. but i am working on believing that i deserve to have an ideal. and i have come up with a few details.

at least i know my life seems flush with activity these days. quite a stretch from the screeching  paranoid delusional that wandered around like marley's ghost for several years.  i am not the man i used to be.  i am liking myself, and i am able to see the spirit in others. sometimes, it can be more of a challenge than other times. but, it's there. and man, is that progress. and i am finding that there are people that actually like me. and want to be around me. and want to hear what i have to  say. and i am clearer on who i am and much better at looking at the people around me. and i have had sex. just not in such high doses.

 

 

what did he say?

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morning latte

SNL - Morning Latte
Video sent by KLAHA_46

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i'm exhausticated

i love that lyric. and i love this treatment of an older song. i actually remember the song that is being used here. mid-eighties, i believe. and it was a spectacular sound. dark yet delicious. and the suggestive lyric added to the allure. some days i wish i could just go dancing again and forget some of the stuff i know. ah well.
it is good to see someone rediscovered that tune, though. and then there's amanda lepore. it's stranger than fiction, that's for sure. i love queer culture.

tell me, how does it taste?






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backstabber

 

what do ya do with an extra million bucks? i have been discussing this question with some folks on the exec committee and trying to come up with a plan that the larger group of us will be able to come to some agreement on. it's not an easy task- this, because, no doubt, everyone in the group will have their own ideas about how to spend it, and naturally, not everyone's ideas can come to fruition. the hard part is wondering what will actually transpire at the next meeting. when there is a good deal of money involved, there is likely to be some emotionality. will there be very angry people? will they have already invested themselves in the idea of getting a slice of that pie? my intuition says yes, but i will just have to wait and see.

and on the more grounded side of my life, i can hardly believe i am in this whole situation just described, considering where my life was just a few short years ago. leaps and bounds my friends. leaps and bounds. and there is a lesson in this for me. i need to try to stay true, stay honest, and remain consistent with doing the next "right" thing. and remain loyal.

i can only hope that someone is reading this somewhere and has the opportunity to get the notion that a life that is stuck in a shitpile can actually move into something that is entirely of a different nature that is made up of self esteem and purpose. like maybe a blessing. or normalcy. or a miracle.

 

i know this band has been around for a couple of years, but i have only just begun to listen to them. their aesthetic is very soothing and compelling for me. they seem so androgynous and so pale- i guess a bit goth. and that always makes me smile. and i think it's kinda radical and kinda cool that these guys generate  tommy lee and amanda and tori references.

 

 

simply read

 

so here is a link to a brochure for the project i have been working on these last 6 months. we were indeed able to secure two separate funding streams for the next couple of years to get it going. one source is public funding and one source is private. and we haven't even gone for any hiv monies as they are not easy to secure. i am extremely proud of how far we have come and more excited about where we go from here. i have already had the grace to see change happen in gay men's lives in the short few weeks the group has been going. i anticipate seeing more of the same and am thrilled at the prospect. this is the first gay men's specific treatment program that i know of in this city. perhaps there was one at the onset of aids, but i am not sure. it tickles me to know that we herald in a new agreement field for denver. one that is more culturally competent. our community deserves this. and our city deserves this. it has been a long time coming. i am delighted to "come out" professionally in denver.  and your feedback is always welcome.  hopefully we carry a message, that even if your drug or alcohol use has taken you to the end of your rope, or your wit's end, or at the end of your sanity, or is merely out of control, it doesn't mean your life is over. there is a solution, there is a hand-up, and there is a way back to a vital and gay relevant life. and freedom. and true happiness. i know, i have taken that journey. hope to see you at the pride festival.

 

milehighmethproject