kickin tina

It's a new experience to actually feel my emotions and not medicate them with drugs or sex. I had to clean up an e-mail that I had sent to my ex yesterday and ended up feeling very wounded after the conversation, and then proceeded to spend the rest of my night in a funky place. If recovery has taught me anything, is that bad feelings will pass, and that live continues and is worth living.

God has a plan for me, and so help me I want to know exactly what that plan is, but I need to believe in that plan. Once I can believe that I'm not alone in this struggle, this journey, this life, I can have faith that I will go on, to meet bigger and better people than that of my past. No matter how much I hurt or think I'll hurt when my ex' is gone, for my own recovery and healthy being, that is exactly what needs to occur. A letting go of old, to accept the new. The more I try to hang on to him and ideas of the past, the longer I stay sick.

"God, relieve me of the bondage of self!" I am starting to see that I am my worst enemy, but also that I am my also my savior but only with the help of my higher power. I am a fish out of water without him, and will die if left out too long. He breaths new life into me. Until then, keep well.

http://www.addme.com/#1