shame or pride?

there has been a movement in sf for some years now called gay shame. it's fairly self-explanatory really. it speaks to how all the venues and events at gay events, especially around pride, are sponsored. and so many of them are sponsored by companies and corporations which either peddle alcohol or pharmaceuticals, or are run by and for people who have nothing to do with the "credo" of the rainbow flag. some might say that to be sponsored by booze is extremely apropos since so many of us develop substance use problems. and most of the boards and officers of those sponsorship companies would not have anything to do with many members of our gay community because frankly we are just too fucking foreign, twisted, and different. we celebrate anonymous sex, some of us participate in public sex, wear lewd and provocative clothing, naturally lean towards androgyny. we say yes to pleasure and publicly celebrate that fact.

but the promoters and creators of these events don't care about their personal beliefs either, because it's all about the money. as long as it doesn't affect them or their respective families or companies. it has been mentioned before that gay men in general are conditioned to just spend and party their whole lives, feeding an economy that won't support their rights to love and partner with the person their choice. sad.... and shameful....

i miss san francisco at this time of year. not because i would certainly be marching in the "gay shame" parade. but because i miss having the awareness level of such a thing on the radar. in denver, as in most cities, it is considered the norm to be sponsored by stoli and coors. and many of us feel lucky to be just that.

this "norm" is prevalent here on many levels. i will come back to this conversation on another day. i have to work through my thoughts and emotions, before i start spouting off. i just hope i don't wait too long. there is much to find shame in today. i need to pray on it and let go of the wheel.

have a happy pride weekend. celebrate life. be seen and be heard. and validate someone who really needs it. and do it authentically. just for the mere fact that you can do it. give your heart and love to someone, not because you want something in return, but because it may just feel fucking awesome to do so. then you won't have to feel gay shame. at least not in the next coupla days.

GAY SHAME


a bit of backtrackin today with u2. i remember seeing them in 1981. they were the backup band for the police. i was so tragically hip back then. and still am in some sense. after all, i'm hiv plus and i danced a few too many dances with tina. but i've made through to the next round and i'm still lookin'. and i still absolutely love this song.