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Thursday, October 11, 2007

does that make me crazy





I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind
There was something so pleasant about that place.
Even your emotions have an echo
In so much space

And when you're out there
Without care,
Yeah, I was out of touch
But it wasn't because I didn't know enough
I just knew too much

Does that make me crazy?
Does that make me crazy?
Does that make me crazy?
Probably


Gnarls Barkley



i wonder how much time put of my day i spend not based in reality. i mean, i know that i fantasize a bit about this guy or that guy every day. there's a middle eastern hottie in my building that melts my butter every day as i walk by his desk. i know that i fantasize about this thing or that thing(like developing a career in public speaking and having the money to redo my kitchen and bath). and i know i touch my tummy many times during the day with the intention of rubbing it down to nothing. i also know that i spend a small amount of time checking my phone and my email to see if i have received any updates.

all this is exhausting and this isn't even my day. this is just my fantasizing and my worrying and thinking about things that aren't even there. i guess i'm crazy. i wonder if there is anyone actually looking for a lunatic. i know there are people who end up with them, but i wonder if there are any worthwhile men who are actually looking for a nutball. so i am putting it out into the universe that i am open to a new phase in my life. this might come in the form of a relationship and could easily be at once crazy and wholesome, kinetic and calming, yin and yang, sweet and salty. you know, it's definitely crazy, because i go out to nowhere that i might actually meet someone else, other than thru my work. well, that's not completely true. but i like to fantasize that i'm a hermit and a shut-in. both of those are such a great mechanism for drama. crazy, certifiable.


oh, and i'd love for that to be delivered to my home address please.

3 comments:

Wayward Son said...

One man's fantasy is another's desire and from what I have read lately, reality is a relevant thing. And who doesn't have a fantasy about a delivery guy—even if he is delivering a certificate of insanity to a hermit with a flair for the dramatic?(You crack me up).

I have been letting little desires slip through the gates these days as well. I push them all back in and say, "Not now. Wait until I get a job." But secretly I am happy to know that I have some desire left in me. It makes me want to fix the doorbell in case the postman rings twice.

WS

BTW, no pics on my site. I am feigning anonymity for now. I'd E mail you one but I can't find an address to send it to in your profile.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, Missy, but that's the lamest description of "crazy" I've ever read. Fantasizing about a hot man, a loving partner and a flat stomach? Welcome to humanity, pull up a seat and stay a while!
Not that you don't know insanity, which I believe manifested itself rather acutely in the form of thinking that one of these days, just like that, without doing anything but wishing it, you were going to stop doing crystal, and having those very thoughts while sucking on the pipe.
Now THAT'S crazy! Don't abuse the concept by applying it to your present completely normal (almost banal) behavior when there are so many opportunities to apply it just by opening the newspaper. Have you noticed we have Bozo and Darth Vader at the helm?

Hey Wayward, did you mean "relevant" or "relative?"

A Bear in the Woods said...

I spend waaaay too much time in fantasy. I'm having to learn the difference betwen constructive fantasy and avoidance fantasy.

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