Friday, January 11, 2008
i can understand it
i love gay men. i really do. sometimes i need to remember why my blog is here. why i feverishly spend so much time writing and reading and searching and sharing.
it's because i have been to hell. and somehow, by the grace of something much bigger than myself, i have been spared the agony, the paranoia, and the remorse that i had become so used to carrying around.
i tried to self medicate myself right off the planet. i got wrapped up in denial so tight that i couldn't see straight. i forgot who i was and i forgot what i believed in.
i'm here because that relief is such a blessing that i do not intend on keeping it to myself.
if you are suffering. if your drug use has become unmanageable. if you don't recognize yourself when you look in the mirror, please believe me when i say i understand. life can change. you can change. your pain can recede. it is possible. it is worth the work.
call a recovery hotline. call a drug counselor. call a 12-step group. call anybody, but your dealer. leave a comment here and i'll listen. change ain't easy. but neither is staying the same.
in the sidebar are my blogrolls. among them are many info sites and treatment sites for meth addiction as well as others. they are fun. they are informative. and they get it, too. the place i started was tweaker
on a sidenote- i "came out" in 1974. around that time( yes, i was a twink) i used hang out a gay bar in near north chicago called pq's. it was disco before disco was glitz. it was the "t". the dance floor used to be so crowded that all we could was dance standing in place. but we didn't care. we were happy to be out, happy to be together, and happy to feel free. this is a song that used to get the boys rollin' to the dance floor.
what's a twink you ask? click here